My 126th Post: You Still Exist

Things have changed, routine is back on its track, life is again calling me back only what isn't there is your presence....I don't see you around me any more...you don't fight with me over tiny things....you don't make me jealous by sharing your things with others rather than me...you don't every time greet me with your smile because you aren't here...you are gone and you won't ever do any of these again....you don't exist in my life any more but that would be a lie and you know I don't lie....
It is a general concept that once a person leaves you physically, that person is gone forever....well this is logically correct but heart fights with logic....it believes in stuff which a sane mind wouldn't agree to...so what if the person isn't standing in front of you, that person is still around you...no matter how badly you want that someone to go, their little things remind you of them....even at times when you are missing them badly, you don't rely upon a reason to remember them and to see their face....no matter what you do, they are always there specially when they left without saying a proper good bye....
There are people whom you wish to delete from your heart and mind but you are just not able to and there are those whom you never want to lose and you keep collecting reasons to keep them in your heart and keep them alive in your life....though their absence hurts but still their ghostly presence soothes you down and glows your heart....I always have believed that life isn't really tough, we are the ones making it tougher by each passing day but, it is tough when you lose someone who was a part of your daily life....there are reasons for people to die and leave us behind and we aren't strong enough to clearly understand those and have to accept the fact that they left us....honestly, it really is tough....I never thought it would be that tough because I thought I have a tough heart but the fact is, even the toughest hearts melt when a loved one moves on.....
Little things are keeping her alive....like yesterday, I was given a pack of jellies because the shopkeeper didn't have change...though I love jellies but she loved them more....or right now, I went out to check the house and I opened the room where she slept....there were some blankets huddled up on her bed and for a moment I was like she is here and it all was a bad dream but no, sadly this is real and she is gone....she wasn't the one trying to sleep, it just was her bed with stuff upon it....so these are random things which I guess are irritating at times but honestly even without them, I still see my sis from place to place.....
No matter what, you still exist...not only for today or tomorrow, for each coming day of my life...Insha-Allah one day when I would have your nephews and your nieces, I would tell them about you and would take care of the fact that you become a part of their little world as well.....I never said this when you were here but you would always be missed by us and by me because no one is there to fight like you any more....

My 124th Post: Am Drowning

This is something, I just wanted to write down without any real motive or thought maybe....

Am drowning

Without water pulling me down

Without sand covering my frown

Yet, am drowning

With the sorrows of this world

With the mysteries so curled

No idea where to stand

No idea what to hold

My vision is growing dark

There is no light or a spark

Am drowning

And headed somewhere which is far

Somewhere which holds me like a tar

Somewhere where I can't see any return

Place where I feel my heart burn

There is no end to this all

It feels like a never ending fall

My mind is gone numb

It feels like a wasted crumb

No thoughts ahead

No happiness thread

It is gone dumb

But yet

It knows am drowning

It can see my inside frowning

With time yet to come

It would stand

And look at his chum

Won't do a thing about that

But, it surely would regret

It surely would regret...

My 122nd Post: I Will Be There

When the sun goes down

When your face grows a frown

I will be there

When you would turn around

When you would lose your ground

I will be there

No matter what

Today, tomorrow, whenever you call

I will be there, to catch you from your fall

At times, it gets really difficult to hold on to people and to be with them from day to night....feelings change, people change and even the situations change...there are multiple reasons due to which a rift might bridge a part two people and send them to different corners from where they wouldn't want to be around each other....sometimes it is a mutual decision but at others, one has to suffer while the other walks away....
There are people who never leave....though they might leave physically and break off each and every thread binding two people, they always remains tattooed in the heart....they are among the ones for whom a person would love to cross the limits just to light a smile upon their face...the ones who would never be forgotten and would own the rights of one's care....
People fight and people drift off but at times the heart keeps on saying to them that I will be there no matter what happens...no matter how tough things get or how far a part they are, the inner voice would always tell them that don't worry, the person owning the rights of this heart and voice would always be there for you no matter how deep you fall...this someone would always jump after you without thinking a thing or two....people are not always compatible with each other or they might start developing new feelings or adopt a different nature....reasons like these rot the relationship and leaves no other alternative rather than to end in respect....but some of these people are precious and no matter how hard you try, you always feel that you somehow care for them....you always feel the will to fight for their smile and still you don't want to be with them or aren't with them....
Well, I know there are some people in my life whom I still kinda care about and would always want to be there to hold them up when they take a fall....I am not only talking about someone I have been in love with in the sense of guy and girl thing but someone who means a lot to me....that someone might be a sister to me, a brother to me, a best friend, a special friend, someone special or someone from the past but I know the list of those someones whom I am going to be there for no matter how things turn out between us....so I would like to say that I will be there when you would need me, I will be there when you think you got no one to talk to and I will be there when you want a hand....there is no need for me to mention their names because simply reading this post would prompt the ones whom I am conveying this message to...

If there are people in your life who you feel are important to you or you think you would always be there for them, do tell them one way or another....show them that you mean it and make them count on you....make them realize that someone really cares for them...do it before the time runs out....if you find it hard telling them, then simply share my post with them and dedicate it to them...they will clearly understand your intentions and your motives.....

My 104th Post: Relations

Every one of us might have studied enough chemistry to know what is bonding....well it is a long process so am not going to define it but just going to say that its main purpose is to join two or more than two atoms together....that same process, just with different rules and regulations, is applied between living things and is termed as relation....as bonding can be of different types, relations are also of various versions.....there are professional relations and personal relations so here I am going to just focus my writing upon the personal relations....
Personal relations require the connection of hearts.....when hearts combine or bond spiritually, a relationship is said to take place.....the problem occurs that it is easy to bond but difficult to maintain the connection....there are a lot of reasons due to which people separate and the most important one is the ignoring nature of human beings....they tend to ignore each and everything once they feel that they possess its authority....our mind drifts us towards the vision that what we own, would always be ours...no matter what happens, that something would pledge its alliance again and again....
When you have everything, you just become reckless and treating that something as a piece of trash after time....though some do take care of their possessions but sadly those are the ones who mostly get played with....there are a lot of things which go off track while in a relation....a person is just a human being walking on two legs and is supposed to fall while covering different paths....he is supposed to make mistakes because he ain't perfect but what one should do is to learn from the previous mistakes....if someone aces that then he/she will always continue the relation made but if fails, unfortunately would lose that someone....
It is really amusing when someone blames the other for not maintaining the relation properly when that first one didn't even care about you until the day you ended.....don't lie...sure one can have secrets but that doesn't means you lie....there are other ways as well...ignore the topic or be straightforward....maybe things would drift apart for a while but still you guys would be together....
Honestly, I don't know what I was going to state in this post but now it is just a gibberish post because of what's on my mind.....well I guess this is a part of my personal experience at the moment and in the end I would just like to say that if one can't be the right hand of a relation, then don't even dare to blame the other person.....you won't only kill the relation but upon that you are just going to destroy your image as well.....

My 103rd Post: Being Sorry

Life is based upon decisions and the steps we take....we move through time, wrestling the barriers in our way, towards the goals set in the back image of our mind....at times, we just move on slaying each and everyone...though not literally but stamping one's heart may be same as slaying that person....when at last we reach the end of our trail, a time comes when we look back at what we did in order to reach our destination....then we realise how many we might have hurt and how many we might have left behind just to conquer our selfish desires....if our conscience remains till the end, it nudges our heart just to remind us of what we did....it makes us feel guilty and in the end, we start feeling sorry for what we did or how we behaved....
Being sorry is a strong deed....it shows that at least one realises his/her mistakes....in that state it feels as if a burden is placed upon the heart, heavy enough to sink a person in thin air.....there is an urge which seems to strangle to death just to get things back as they were...just to get a second chance to alter the mistake and remove the hurt from the victim's heart....though the victim might have moved on from your abuse, it still feels as if you can see that someone, crying in a corner just waiting for the day to end or throwing things in fury just to get back on you....but at that moment, you just moved on and couldn't wait long enough to know what happened next or weren't ever concerned enough to care to know how that someone feels.....
Life has a philosophy that broken things can be mended and broken hearts, can once again reunite under the same glowing moon....that is just a philosophy and we can call this an ideal situation, which can not be obtained....it is a fact stated in physics that worldly things can't reach to ideal state....same way, broken hearts and hurt souls can not be repaired just by a sorry....it is just like breaking a class and gluing it back together....though the shattered pieces might hug each other, but still they remain weak from the impact and won't hold the water without spilling it here and there.....saying sorry won't make things better for the one who was thrashed, though he/she might accept you once more, but still would remain few steps back just to ensure the future....
I fully understand my stated points but there is something which nags me....there is a saying that do not let your hope die young...well I guess I just said that though what I mean is that, maybe, just maybe that someone agrees and after the show of stubbornness and ignore, that someone reverts and accepts your apology....maybe that someone becomes that same old person realising the fact that one is trying too hard just to apologise and is trying to get back on track....so there is hope though....it might be tough but there are chances....now the tough part is that how to make that someone realise the fact that you really mean it....umm I really don't know....
The way I would do is to write a post upon a topic, lets suppose 'Being Sorry', and then try to share it towards that someone....this might irritate that person and make him/her take the agreement of your kill, but still I tried.....it depends upon that someone whether they think am worth giving a chance or not but I guess anyone would spare a single chance if I keep on asking for her/him and wish well...
Well that is just an opinion but try not to hurt in the first place to be sorry later in the future....

My 46th Post: Ignorance of the Old

Societies are different in ways but there are issues which each adopt form one and other....the worst part is that rarely a society adopts something positive.....as time flies by, once strong limbs weaken up and stop supporting the body....the person who walked without the need of anyone, requires support just to stand up on his/her feet....that is when that someone realizes that he/she is mortal and with time things deteriorate...
A man marries a women and nourishes his children with an expectation that when he grows old, his children would support him and take care of him....few societies still have the same belief but the rest are worried and expect to see a dark future.....these days there is no respect and everyone lives for his/her own benefits....no one cares whether something would hurt someone, just wonders, would it bring happiness to his soul or not....
This is a growing threat mostly in the super power countries....the old is afraid that one day they would be kicked out of their home and sent to an old-age resort or something like that....the values are dead and people worry about their personal benefits to an extent that they are forgetting about the couple which brought them to the stage they stand upon.....parents are becoming a burden for many and when they are questioned upon this, a simple reluctant reply arrives which is that they didn't ask their folks to take care of them...if they made up a choice of supporting them, that doesn't means that they would get that in return....
The reason behind this is upon the path which the society is moving....relations are viewed as a game...they can come and go at any instance of life...if in a society, a dad changes every second month, how would someone expect the child to be there to support his parents....it doesn't makes sense because the basic relation is a joke for him/her.....if there ain't any stability at young age, there won't be any difference when a child becomes independent....he/she never understood the standing of one relation.....and when they realize, its mostly late as they see themselves in the same position....
Imagine when you have no where to go and not enough strength to do any thing, you sit all alone in a room with no one you would relate to....no one there whom you would call yours...all your life you were there for your family but when you need them the most, no one is there to pick you up....the years when you were young, you stood out in the sun just to earn for your child and now that selfish doesn't even stands you under a same ceiling....how would it feel? devastated? frustrated? it would be worst then the words I mentioned....
In order to avoid that future, we need to straighten our present...instead of ignoring relations, we need to stand besides them and try to bring them closer to us....yes, jobs may get hectic at times and it is tough to earn but if spending time after earning money ruins your family time, then it is an useless effort...the one you would be earning for would leave you in mere future because you weren't there when they were trying to stand...that is one of the most frequent reasons of loneliness in old age....
Instead of having a stick in hand, it would feel amazing if one's grandchild is there all the time....rather than sitting in a room doing nothing just waiting for the death to arrive, it would be better to stay in between the loved ones and die while spending time with them....it is always easy to lose things and tough to gain.....but it is never impossible....
Bend the ways of life and try to be there for each other because no one can really survive alone....a day comes when we need to hold one's hand and walk down the road....do consider this and try to hold on and respect the old generation because one day, we would be sitting where they are present right now...
Tc, do share and comment......

My 40th Post: Blame Game

Doing something is really easy...you just have to choose what you have to do and then make up your mind to do it....if the thing goes well, then it awaits some applause but if it goes wrong, then you can save yourself easily by blaming someone....that is how things work but that is what I am against....that is not the way people should live on....blaming someone is not the answer to your failure.....if you blame someone just because you couldn't do it then it shows how low graded you may be....
There is a thing in my mind and I know I can do it....instead of going through the plan, I give it a try.....I fall badly on my face....the act was a disaster...instead of realizing my fault, I simply blame my parents or someone else that they could have stopped me....is that the right thing to do? am I that blind that I don't see where I went wrong? I should have thought over it properly instead of rushing to the scene of action.....that would be completely my fault....even if someone would have advised me, I would have gone with what I wanted to do...and if I had agreed to someone who would have told me to quit the idea and then I came to know that it was one brilliant idea but there is no more time to carry it on, I would still be blaming because I didn't do it just because of that someone...
Why don't we rely just on our thinking? talking to someone and hearing their advise doesn't means that we have to follow it on any cost...that just means that we are trying to pick a safe corner before doing something....still we are the ones to take the decision not them....we are the ones to be blamed, not them....we have enough capability to see the outcome of our decision.....so what if it went wrong, we should be strong enough to stand by it instead of telling the crowd that it was his idea not mine...I didn't want to do this, he insisted....now that is simply a sign of a coward....if you blame people just because you did what they advised you to do, then I hope you have enough confidence to step up to the world as a coward....
Be fair guys....if you don't have the guts of doing something, then don't do it rather than killing someone's respect....blaming someone has one worst result, you would never be trusted by the person whom you blamed even if that someone was your best-friend...that someone had to go through rough comments and face shame just because you told everyone that you are the innocent one sitting in between....don't ruin the sails and drown the ship specially when saving a name after something so little....and if you have already blamed someone, then try to fix things by accepting the fall rather than supporting your false statement....you still have time to do the right thing but remember, if you blamed in public, then clear the things in the same crowd....
Learn to preserve things specially relations....if you blame someone in order to make a new relation or save an other, you are truly making a mistake....there are other ways to do things....to break something in order to gain an other still leaves you with a single thing in hand....understand it, its simple math people...so stop blaming and try to be honest with everyone, that would earn you respect and trust....
Tc, comment and share.....

My 33rd Post: Friends

There is a huge list of options in the category of relations....each and everyone is important and in life there comes a time when a person is incomplete without one....if its a guy, he may become a father to some, a brother to another and an uncle to someone else....but there are limits for him....as his gender justifies, he can't be someone's wife or someone's niece.....same in the case of a women...she can't be someone's grandfather or someone's father in law....that just means that the relations are choosy and they don't allow each and everyone to tag them in....
But there is one which doesn't cares about the cast, creed or the gender....neither it cares about one being alive or not....it tags along with anyone or anything just with one condition, trust....and that is all, just fill out the form of trust and there you have it, a relation package of friendship....
Friends are those special people who are sent down to Earth in order to fill in each and every place where someone needs a hand to hold on to.....the relationship of a true friendship is stronger than many bonds even at times, it cracks the limits of love....it may be in between a dog and his master or a guy and his car...it can stick into any two things....
You share your tiniest secrets with them...they are the only ones who know how crazy you can get at times....with them the world becomes small enough to swallow in a single bite...I mean its just amazing how the thing with a friend goes....even without saying a word, just with the expression of a blink of an eye, urban legends can be revealed....not really but it means that words aren't always required to continue a conversation.....
If someone sees you with a friend and are aware of nothing, things just seem as an episode of Charlie Chaplin....your buddy (specially a best friend) keeps on using some special words to describe a whole scene of an hour and only thing you reply is a high fi and then some phony expressions....to the viewer its just like entering a math's lecture at its end....
Friends are the most precious jewels of life....they should never be left to corrode, instead should be varnished every once in a while....the magic of friendship never ends until someone just moves on forgetting whom he met before the position he is in.....friends fight for each other, support each other and are there always to hold your back even there are ones who get scolded just cause they took the blame for his friend....
Thank you all my friends for being there for me and surviving through my every lame joke with a laugh.....thank you for simply being my friend and making my life's each day a happy ending and giving me the will to rise to a new morning....remain my friends forever....
Dedicated to all of my friends and to those who are a friend to someone....
Tc, comment and share......