My 131st Post: Am I Forgotten?

Am I forgotten? Ever wondered if people remember you even when you don’t talk anymore. I mean the person whom you used to be a best bud of and now you guys don’t talk, do you think they would have you in their mind still. Or someone whom you thought was important for you but then things didn’t work out and the chapter got shut away for the spiders to nest in. Ever wondered the way you think about them, the way you recall their precious memories, their names and their existence, would they be doing the same time after time.

I have met a lot of people in my age and with most of them, I don’t have any contact at all. Some were just random folks but then there also were those whom I wanted to be a part of my each and every memory. Destiny didn’t have their pictures in my timeline but still I have them in my head. Like the friends I had made in my junior years. Some of them are still in contact but then again majority are like the leaves of fall which flew away from me.

I still remember the names of each and every girl I had a crush upon or whom I fell in love with. Some of them know the fact that I was drooling upon them but specially the girl whose name the cupid struck me with knows it well because she is the only one till the date whom I had enough courage to propose. Well I do wonder if she even remembers me and recalls my memories or thoughts at times. She did had made it clear that I am not going to be a part of her memories by blocking me from every way possible but still, I just wonder if she remembers me.

Then there were random others whom I thought would remain my friends but it didn’t happen. Like a great friend of mine from the school days whom I used to hang out with. She was a nice person and best of all, she helped me out in my love thingy but then something went wrong and it ended. Or like my recent thought about a friend whom I had a misunderstanding with and now she remains at a distance though I did clear it all and our chat ended with my words that I would wait for her reply when she would be willing to talk no matter how high the pile of the years get. Now I wonder it has been months since we talked, does she even remember me. There are a lot of people like her whom I drifted apart from and it has been long since we talked but I don’t think they remember me because alright a girl might have some issues but what about a guy? What about my buddies from the school days whom I haven’t heard from in years. I really don’t even know if they are alive. Well that is life.

I do wonder and I believe everyone does because one can not just kill a memory out of the system. We are not machines whose RAM can be erased or something, we are humans with hearts. If we spend time with even a cat at our door, we remember it. It is mostly our ego and the awkwardness of time which binds us at distance. Well the destiny chose this for us. Some people stay and others just drift away. I would like some of them back but I don’t think anyone would want the entire fleet at their steps again because they were gone and when they left, it might have been a good thing to happen in life. Still I believe that no soul on Earth is forgotten just ignored due to our human nature. They left due to some reason but still they remain a part of our memories.

My 121st Post: The One

Fairy tales, t.v dramas and every other script which is based upon the concept of love, somehow ends with the same story that the guy and the girl finally are together...there is this image fed into the audience's mind that the hero was meant to fall in love with heroine and no matter how much they fought or didn't get along, they would finally be together...there are always differences between them but with time, the expected couple always would evolve into a one soul two body kind of image....I mean come on, does this really happen in real life? Is there someone there we don't notice but keep on avoiding or having arguments with but is the one we are going to end up with as if we are a part of some play and the cameras are pointed at us....every show airs that like Richard Castle and Kate Beckett from Castle or Ross and Rachel from Friends....both of these couples always fought but in the end, they got together because they were meant for each other....
The one....so in my case or in any of yours' case, there is someone we know and maybe encounter but that someone is in our life but maybe we are in a stage of ups and downs with that someone...so basically, for me, she is just around the corner and is in my play but we aren't together and won't get together until the time is right...can this be true...I mean the main lead in my play, the one who I am going to be with for the rest of my life is here in my life but I don't really see her that way or maybe she doesn't notices me as the one for her....I might have loved her once, but she didn't...then there might have been a time when she loved me but I didn't and so on so fore but we never confronted each other and moved on....then comes a time when we both would realise that there is no one else in this world meant for us rather than the one we are thinking of and we finally fall in love....
This can't be true...this is just like a fairytale come true...fairy tales don't come true but if they do, then these are really messed up but on the other hand there are mostly beautiful ones...if each one of these stories are properly traced down from the beginning of time till the end then Shakespeare's plays wouldn't even be known to the worst stages in this world....
I really don't know whether it is true or not but I do know for a fact that what so ever my story is or going to be, I really want to know or wait better, I really want it to be written down....the day am going to get together with that one, I would write down our whole story and maybe she was here all along but we never really knew...maybe the one is always around the corner and just waiting for the notion to play our part and get together....this gives a hope to look out for that one so if someone broke up with you, just means that the one who is really meant for you is around the corner just waiting for the cue....

My 105th Post: My Lover's Killer

I killed her, I just killed her....No, I didn't but yes, I killed her! I didn't want her to die but, I killed her...she was all I had and I don't know her but I love her...I am all she has and I know she would have loved me too but no, that can't be possible...am just a monster and I just killed her....I wish, I just wish that her thoughts would have changed after all we went through but no, I killed her....that night could have been different...I could have asked her out like any other guy does when he likes a girl but we slipped....I slipped...
It was raining heavily and as always, me and the gang were out at Joe's for the night.....beers were coming and going and the night wasn't dying....we were just about to leave as a blond entered the bar....she was in her early 20's.....sleek body with curly hair tied back in a puff, all soaked up.....she was a beautiful girl....at first I thought it was the alcohol talking but when she came near the bar to ask for the phone, I could see her face clearly in the yellow light of the bar...she was beautiful and somehow, I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her that am going to be hers for ever....but well, she went to the back of the bar to make a call and I headed out through the front door....
I thought it ended there but how wrong I could have been, I never had imagined that....we were three friends but others were missing when I left the bar....suddenly one came running towards me and led me to the back of the bar....I was confused, couldn't understand what was happening.....I was running wildly after him and wasn't able to balance myself because that night, I was high enough to call myself the President of U.S....there were thoughts going around my head but none of them made any sense....
At the end of the trail, I saw her lying on the road....something had happened to her and she wasn't moving much....as I neared to examine her, she was crying....I got confused, couldn't concentrate on anything....then I saw my friend standing besides her, fixing his belt and tucking in his shirt....I was bewildered by his image....washed the rain off my face and looked at the girl once more....she was lying on the floor, her shirt loose and my friend pointing her to me....he was saying something that didn't I want her, so there she was for me to have....at first, I was all baffled and didn't understand what was happening....my other friend stood from the girl's side and pushed me down upon her.....they left me there alone with her and I don't know what happened, I just lost my self control and that girl saw a beast in me.....
After few hours, I was travelling with my friends somewhere...I didn't know what had happened next...they told me that they dumped that girl off at near by hospital and now it was time to move on.....I just went wild and beat the crap out of them....left their company and went back to the hospital....I searched for her and when I found her, she was unconscious....upon that, I was told that there wasn't any hope of her getting normal again....I enrolled my relation as her husband and because there was no one to claim her nor she had any id with her, I was allowed to take her back with me....
Last few months, I have been there for her day and night....I wasn't a bad guy, just got driven by the devil and his mind controlling water....cared for her as my angel.....took her to bed, changed her clothes, did what a real husband might do for his wife....she never spoke throughout that period, always laid in her bed looking at the ceiling....she was just a body in my house but still, she was mine and I cared for her more than anything I ever cared about....like a baby, I had to forcefully feed her...would tell her stories and stayed most of my time in her room, holding her hand.....I always cried at the night when ever that incident crossed my mind but those tears meant nothing to her...she didn't even feel my presence I think....she had lost her senses....
Yesterday, it was raining as it had been that night....I fell asleep while reading her a story....was dreaming about our life and kids and suddenly heard her screaming....first I thought I was dreaming but no, she really was back....she was screaming which meant she was back...my love, my Jane, she was back.....I woke up and held her in my arms....she cuddled me and then commanded to turn on the lights...it was the happiest day of my life till I turned on the lights....she, she just starred at me....there was nothing else....she went pale and looked at me....I smiled and as I went near, she dropped back in the bed....
I hurried downstairs and called the next door doctor....she came running in her pyjamas to my house and checked her....Jane was gone....the doc said that she is in a deep sleep and won't ever wake up....life drained out of my eyes and I fell upon my knees, sobbing till my eyes went dry....
Jane still lies in her bed and I know she won't ever get up, but I won't leave her...no, I won't ever leave her....one day my love is going to help her get back on her feet and one day, I would ask her to marry me and become the mother of my children.....one day she will wake up, one day she will forgive me and love me back..... just one day.....

My 33rd Post: Friends

There is a huge list of options in the category of relations....each and everyone is important and in life there comes a time when a person is incomplete without one....if its a guy, he may become a father to some, a brother to another and an uncle to someone else....but there are limits for him....as his gender justifies, he can't be someone's wife or someone's niece.....same in the case of a women...she can't be someone's grandfather or someone's father in law....that just means that the relations are choosy and they don't allow each and everyone to tag them in....
But there is one which doesn't cares about the cast, creed or the gender....neither it cares about one being alive or not....it tags along with anyone or anything just with one condition, trust....and that is all, just fill out the form of trust and there you have it, a relation package of friendship....
Friends are those special people who are sent down to Earth in order to fill in each and every place where someone needs a hand to hold on to.....the relationship of a true friendship is stronger than many bonds even at times, it cracks the limits of love....it may be in between a dog and his master or a guy and his car...it can stick into any two things....
You share your tiniest secrets with them...they are the only ones who know how crazy you can get at times....with them the world becomes small enough to swallow in a single bite...I mean its just amazing how the thing with a friend goes....even without saying a word, just with the expression of a blink of an eye, urban legends can be revealed....not really but it means that words aren't always required to continue a conversation.....
If someone sees you with a friend and are aware of nothing, things just seem as an episode of Charlie Chaplin....your buddy (specially a best friend) keeps on using some special words to describe a whole scene of an hour and only thing you reply is a high fi and then some phony expressions....to the viewer its just like entering a math's lecture at its end....
Friends are the most precious jewels of life....they should never be left to corrode, instead should be varnished every once in a while....the magic of friendship never ends until someone just moves on forgetting whom he met before the position he is in.....friends fight for each other, support each other and are there always to hold your back even there are ones who get scolded just cause they took the blame for his friend....
Thank you all my friends for being there for me and surviving through my every lame joke with a laugh.....thank you for simply being my friend and making my life's each day a happy ending and giving me the will to rise to a new morning....remain my friends forever....
Dedicated to all of my friends and to those who are a friend to someone....
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