My 131st Post: Am I Forgotten?

Am I forgotten? Ever wondered if people remember you even when you don’t talk anymore. I mean the person whom you used to be a best bud of and now you guys don’t talk, do you think they would have you in their mind still. Or someone whom you thought was important for you but then things didn’t work out and the chapter got shut away for the spiders to nest in. Ever wondered the way you think about them, the way you recall their precious memories, their names and their existence, would they be doing the same time after time.

I have met a lot of people in my age and with most of them, I don’t have any contact at all. Some were just random folks but then there also were those whom I wanted to be a part of my each and every memory. Destiny didn’t have their pictures in my timeline but still I have them in my head. Like the friends I had made in my junior years. Some of them are still in contact but then again majority are like the leaves of fall which flew away from me.

I still remember the names of each and every girl I had a crush upon or whom I fell in love with. Some of them know the fact that I was drooling upon them but specially the girl whose name the cupid struck me with knows it well because she is the only one till the date whom I had enough courage to propose. Well I do wonder if she even remembers me and recalls my memories or thoughts at times. She did had made it clear that I am not going to be a part of her memories by blocking me from every way possible but still, I just wonder if she remembers me.

Then there were random others whom I thought would remain my friends but it didn’t happen. Like a great friend of mine from the school days whom I used to hang out with. She was a nice person and best of all, she helped me out in my love thingy but then something went wrong and it ended. Or like my recent thought about a friend whom I had a misunderstanding with and now she remains at a distance though I did clear it all and our chat ended with my words that I would wait for her reply when she would be willing to talk no matter how high the pile of the years get. Now I wonder it has been months since we talked, does she even remember me. There are a lot of people like her whom I drifted apart from and it has been long since we talked but I don’t think they remember me because alright a girl might have some issues but what about a guy? What about my buddies from the school days whom I haven’t heard from in years. I really don’t even know if they are alive. Well that is life.

I do wonder and I believe everyone does because one can not just kill a memory out of the system. We are not machines whose RAM can be erased or something, we are humans with hearts. If we spend time with even a cat at our door, we remember it. It is mostly our ego and the awkwardness of time which binds us at distance. Well the destiny chose this for us. Some people stay and others just drift away. I would like some of them back but I don’t think anyone would want the entire fleet at their steps again because they were gone and when they left, it might have been a good thing to happen in life. Still I believe that no soul on Earth is forgotten just ignored due to our human nature. They left due to some reason but still they remain a part of our memories.

My 127th Post: Why No Posts

I haven't blogged in the past few weeks....I am busy but I always was busy...that ain't the reason of me not playing in the rain of my words...I love to write and I always have time for this...the only difference this time is that I wanted to be heard and to be read....any thoughts in my mind, I just wanted everyone to share them and to be a part of my world but these days, I don't want to be heard....I don't want to be read....and I don't want anyone to be a part of what I have because somehow I have just grown a degree of possessiveness about my thoughts, my dreams and my words.....
I know this all sounds rude to many of you but I like to be honest and I feel it as my duty to at least convey this bit to all those who miss my writing and my updates....there are few who keep telling me to write and to post here and I do respect their motivation and their care but I feel that I need time for me....time for some silence to take over my space so that I can savoir the moments I have spent...I just want to be silent for a while and play in my head with my words and I believe somehow they are just too personal to share....they are too sensitive to reveal and to mess with....I just believe they are just mine and mine alone....my mind isn't empty or blank, there is a lot going on upon the roads and under the bridges but I have closed all the exits just because I don't want anything to go out.....
I would insha-Allah write upon some topic real soon....there are a lot in my mind which I want to write upon...just a few more days till I stand up upon the stage and would scribble my words so they can be projected towards your screens....till then take care and thank you guys for being there.....

My 117th Post: Random Words

It has been around two months since I came out with my last post....somehow I am unable to write....when I write, I just lose the sight of my path and then there I am, with my words hanging without an edge and I keep on removing that post from my published list....I really don't know why but somehow I believe that I can't write any more....it is like I have a major block in my head which is making me post nothing though there are so many things to write upon here....I have many topics waiting for my mind to put out in words but when I start writing, I end up watching some video or playing those stupid facebook games....it is just like I have a torch while walking down the path in a darkness filled valley but what I miss are the batteries for my torch...somehow the writing spree is hung up as that light from that valley....
I really do want to write but I don't know why I keep resisting....I do believe that I am not a bad writer but well I guess there is this voice in my back head which keeps telling me that you really don't have much readers and it simply means that my writing is way worse than many....that voice has conquered my will I suppose....somehow I have lost the battle with that voice but I want to prove it wrong and want to win this war...so what if it won the battle, the war is still for me to win...

Writing all this has really brought me up....well literally speaking then I did change my posture from lying down to sitting up but well I think this is working....there is this light I can see at the moment which is trying to tell me to find the path....it is telling me that I haven't diverted much...the path is still there and the light is vibrating...o sorry, that was my cell phone so I guess no light at all....
I really think I should write again....I really do love writing and I was an idiot for ignoring this beauty...now writing all this I really think I have missed my hands upon this keyboard and making sounds like tic tic tic....and the pain from typing is really amazing....I don't know if you guys are really reading this still and if reading, you guys are not having an image of a lunatic blogger but I will write....I guess my block ends with this post and from tomorrow onwards insha-Allah, I will blog properly once more....
Best of luck to me guys and please keep on motivating me with your comments and your views...thank you...

My 104th Post: Relations

Every one of us might have studied enough chemistry to know what is bonding....well it is a long process so am not going to define it but just going to say that its main purpose is to join two or more than two atoms together....that same process, just with different rules and regulations, is applied between living things and is termed as relation....as bonding can be of different types, relations are also of various versions.....there are professional relations and personal relations so here I am going to just focus my writing upon the personal relations....
Personal relations require the connection of hearts.....when hearts combine or bond spiritually, a relationship is said to take place.....the problem occurs that it is easy to bond but difficult to maintain the connection....there are a lot of reasons due to which people separate and the most important one is the ignoring nature of human beings....they tend to ignore each and everything once they feel that they possess its authority....our mind drifts us towards the vision that what we own, would always be ours...no matter what happens, that something would pledge its alliance again and again....
When you have everything, you just become reckless and treating that something as a piece of trash after time....though some do take care of their possessions but sadly those are the ones who mostly get played with....there are a lot of things which go off track while in a relation....a person is just a human being walking on two legs and is supposed to fall while covering different paths....he is supposed to make mistakes because he ain't perfect but what one should do is to learn from the previous mistakes....if someone aces that then he/she will always continue the relation made but if fails, unfortunately would lose that someone....
It is really amusing when someone blames the other for not maintaining the relation properly when that first one didn't even care about you until the day you ended.....don't lie...sure one can have secrets but that doesn't means you lie....there are other ways as well...ignore the topic or be straightforward....maybe things would drift apart for a while but still you guys would be together....
Honestly, I don't know what I was going to state in this post but now it is just a gibberish post because of what's on my mind.....well I guess this is a part of my personal experience at the moment and in the end I would just like to say that if one can't be the right hand of a relation, then don't even dare to blame the other person.....you won't only kill the relation but upon that you are just going to destroy your image as well.....

My 58th Post: Love During Immaturity

There is always a set of rules following each and everything we do....no matter what that might be but the rules remain firm...they are flexible at times but they should never be broken because they are really worth respecting...why would there be a rule for something if it is only going to be against us for no reason? each and every rule is there to keep us safe and out of trouble...but still it is in the human nature to bend things according to their flexibility....

Love, one word which can sooth the seven seas or bring down a torment upon the entire human race....no one has a control over falling in the pit of love but they certainly can draw up some limits but more importantly, can set up priorities....all this control and the work of thinking requires maturity which in most cases comes with age....when a person is mature, love can be in his/her heart but still the choice would be in the favor of the logic ruling the world....

But what if a person falls in love before time? What if the person is still immature and senses the feeling created by love? A lot of the people would disagree with this because adults believe that it can only happen when someone grows old and before that time its only lust or some affection....I would disagree to them with a simple statement that a person, when immature, has a rarely corrupt mind....when someone young says that he/she is in love, that truly means he/she is attracted by the nature of the person and feels the will to spend time with that someone not anything else....here my mind jolts me with a question that what adults call love is something else then?....so dear mind, what grown ups describe love is also love but after evaluating the other person from head to toe....they go through every detail and then start loving, not like a teenager that a guy likes a girl only because she is kindhearted and is there for him.... in fact love, when young, is mostly the purest form of love a person can have....but still loving at a small age has its consequences and may affect someone's life real bad....

When we are young, only few of us realize that having a strong career is essential for the upcoming years....things don't just happen, we make them happen, that is with the help of our Lord....loving at an age when there is no sense of responsibility, a young mind may divert and eventually lure away from the path which was right....bad choices are made without even thinking about the outcomes....everything blurs up and the only sight available is the lover's portrait in the heart....

There is an equal chance of getting accepted and rejected....things are better if both unite and stay together but when the proposal is denied, the heart trembles and at a young age it is not possible for many to stand up straight and move on....the heart is weak at that age and a blow like that seems too much to handle...dreams shatter and the soul goes into depression....for a mature person, it may take a while but he/she moves on but a young heart clamps that denial and remains there....

I can't say don't love when you are young or immature because that is just not what a person can do....but I would say that before you fall in love at any age, try to set up the priorities and always keep in mind that family comes first than the rest...if you can't maintain your old relations then you won't be able to stand with the new one....and secondly if someone is against your decision of loving someone, just try to consider their point of view specially when they are older than you because trust me, with age experiences increase and things do change how they looked when we were young....

Tc, comment and do share....