My 124th Post: Am Drowning

This is something, I just wanted to write down without any real motive or thought maybe....

Am drowning

Without water pulling me down

Without sand covering my frown

Yet, am drowning

With the sorrows of this world

With the mysteries so curled

No idea where to stand

No idea what to hold

My vision is growing dark

There is no light or a spark

Am drowning

And headed somewhere which is far

Somewhere which holds me like a tar

Somewhere where I can't see any return

Place where I feel my heart burn

There is no end to this all

It feels like a never ending fall

My mind is gone numb

It feels like a wasted crumb

No thoughts ahead

No happiness thread

It is gone dumb

But yet

It knows am drowning

It can see my inside frowning

With time yet to come

It would stand

And look at his chum

Won't do a thing about that

But, it surely would regret

It surely would regret...

My 120th Post: Smile :)

Mornings always bring out some changes in our moods....one day we wake up mad or the other just carry a feeling of loneliness....today I woke up, I didn't have either of those two....there was something hanging upon my face....I don't know where it came from or why is it really there but I have a smile on my face which is even smiling as I am writing this post.....regardless yesterday's ups and downs, am smiling today and I think it is really a blessing to smile like this....
At times there are some people in your contact list who just bring out a smile upon your face....their presence just makes it everything for you to achieve at that moment and you start smiling....words fade away and there is nothing to say at all except for passing a smile....every negative vibe dies off and a pleasant air fills the space....who knew that flexing few muscles could result in such a beautiful thing....
A smile is a solution to many problems...it can fix relations, it can cheer up people, it can give a feeling of warmth, it is just magical.....smile really isn't an answer of everything but the least it can do is to give someone a hope....a simple smile can cover up a large statement, 'don't worry, it will be alright..'...
I really don't have much to talk upon this topic because all I can think about is smiling at the screen....it is like I want to smile to all my readers and make them understand what I really want to say....this smile is a feeling of heaven....I really feel my heart flying towards the sky and there is no pain in it....it feels as if everything is cured by this smile I have right now.....it is like fight with me right now and all you would see is me smiling...okay yeah I would beat you back but with a smile and I guess that is what matters....
It might seem as if am a lunatic or something like that who is smiling all the time for nothing at all....yeah sure, maybe am gone goo goo but does it really matters? I mean at least I am happy from inside and my smile really boosts my soul....smiling a lot isn't bad if you ask me...sure it ain't healthy but still, it is the best feeling one can have and I am proud to have this as a part of my life...
People do various drugs just to achieve a state from where they can forget the life they are living...they go after meths or heroine and consume bags of money and destroy their health as well....for me, smiling is the best drug of them all....its cost are nominal and it is available all the time and it is good for health....so yeah, I am high but high upon my smile :)

My 69th Post: Discovering The Truth

Ever seen those Star Plus dramas? If you have then you exactly know how it feels when we get to know the truth about something...yeah it would have been much cooler if we had those idiotic sound effects and those death defining camera views in our real life but still the feeling they show is somewhere near what we really feel....
In most of the cases the truth is ugly because we just can't digest it....it is a dish which is best served as a starter not as a desert...but still, people leave it aside for the end.....truth, is a heavy word....honestly speaking, I can't digest it as well but still I work my way into it because there is no other option besides it...it is much easier to accept the fact which is laid as soon as possible because no matter how much time we take, it would remain the same till the end....

For me, it is a really depressing moment and I get way too much gloomy and fall off the track...it is just because I believe in the beginning that what ever I am told is the only face of the tale....the stories, the dialogues everything seems to be real and there, the brain, creates up a world or better to call it a house in which that person resides....the house made from what I get told and it seems beautiful if the material pleases my nature....but the time when it all is stamped as a lie, it feels as if the house got on fire and the only way to save it is by getting it burnt or just believe that there was no fire....
It is really tough to know the truth and do nothing about it....yes, realizing the fact that everything was a lie is something but still realizing something and acting upon it are both two different things....at times, we get so much indulged in the liar and the lie that we put an intentional veil upon it so that we don't get to see the ugly face of it....we bury the truth deep down our heart and sink it like that Black Beard's treasure chest....no matter how hard others would try to thrash that lie, we would still believe that one person....yet, at times we act differently...rather than this soft and kind nature, we show a bit more rude and aggressive one....that is the case in which we would burn the house our self....the moment truth arrives at the door steps, everything is destroyed and no chance of survival remains.....
In my views, non of them is a suitable way to face a lie....the second one is better because at least the person is accepting the facts and trying to live in reality but still that also hurts because once a person gets attached to someone's lie, it is really tough to move away without getting hurt....the best way is to let the house burn by itself....instead of thumping away, it is better to watch it till the ashes remain....as it is said that with time bruises heal, or something like that, a lie would die the same way...instead of changing the life, just try to change that person without taking any hasty decisions....this will hurt less because once you are away from that someone, it would only pinch because of that spoken lie....
Just smile and try to live life to its peak and enjoy..Tc, comment and do share..... 

My 43rd Post: What the Heart Says

There are bunch of complaints I keep receiving on daily basis.....all the time its the same accuser and the same victim....I don't know what to do in this matter...each day I wake up, my brain keeps nudging me to stop my heart from contributing in the decisions of my life.....it keeps telling me to warn it else I would face a serious series of thoughts....what can I do, my heart doesn't listens to me....it keeps telling me different things and whatever it says, seems legit to me.....it is really convincing.....my heart knows how to fool me and get things done in its ways....that is mostly what my brain hates and that is why it keeps telling me to snatch the power of decision making from my heart....

It is really a tough thing to do.....heart doesn't listens to anyone, it just does things which makes it rush more rapidly.....though it only wants good for us, it at times messes things up because somethings aren't supposed to be tempered with and that is what the brain knows well.....heart is just like some immature kid who wants to see the person smiling and to do that, it can cross any limit forgetting the pain it would cause.....
The heart keeps on talking a lot and tells many stories....it tries to provide guidance in stuff but that guidance is way costly...due to it, a whole day may ruin or become so odd that even with eyes wide open, things seem blurred up....I really don't know why the heart has to be like that....it could have been a sophisticated organ like the brain but no it had to be like a saint which only runs after the happiness even when it is for a little while.....
Right now my heart is saying something really stupid.....I know that would be real fun but still at this hour of the night, how can I howl like a wolf, or wait why would I even howl at anytime? see, its a foolish idea but still what can I do, my heart loves me a lot....
I do many things because my heart tells me to do so but after most, there is some regret in them...though they weren't wrong but still led to hurt....but why not to do what it tells us to do? I mean it understands us better and after doing what it says, there is always a smile on our face....if something doesn't hurts anyone and it is what makes you happy, you can do it....even if the happiness stays for few moments because in this hectic life, a smile on the face for only 3 seconds is a lot...on this thought, so what if something I did yesterday lowered my glucose level for the rest of my day...the smile it brought to my face and the relief it gave me was worth making that decision again and again for days....
I would just like to salute my heart...it surely have made things worst and increased the difficulty level of my life, but it did take care of me at the times I really needed it....taught me a lot and made me smile even when there was nothing to smile about....it just made me happy at times when there was no light in front of me....
Tc people, comment, share and do take care of your beloved heart.....

My 38th Post: Those Goodbyes

First we meet someone and then we great them....then the time passes on in long long chats....some laughs are shared and some fights are dodged but everything seems lovely and enjoyable.....some secrets reveal and some mysteries unfold....the time flies of in the dripping of the words.....it feels so good and the heart wishes more but unfortunately, it has to end.....
At some point, you need to turn....maybe for a while or sometimes, forever....that is the toughest moment of meeting someone...the time when you have to say goodbye....it gets impossible to let go the one you want to be with...the one who was making you smile for the past few hours of your life.....the one who was there to set a memory in your mind.....but you have to go....life needs other requirements to be fulfilled.....staying there forever can not be done....when letting someone go, the heart gets heavy and things damp up....you had to leave because there were other things winding up but you really didn't want to leave because that was the one you felt really comfortable with...that was the one you want to be with....
There is a fear that developes in our minds at the time of a farewell that whether we would get to meet again or not, whether there would be an other series of the chat or not.....this 'whether' really messes up the mind specially when we don't want to lose that someone....we somehow try to budge things here and there in order to achieve a little window but at times that is not an available option even....
Leaving someone is really bad....the attachment of the heart really makes it tough...though the heart is only a pumping device, it sometimes tries to be what it shouldn't be....it gets us tangled up with people so badly that at times even after a long time after departure, we still miss them badly....at that moment, the heart tells us that it is possible to get to them even if the clock was ticking 4 of the morning.....its a relief that the brain stands for us and reminds us of the insanity the heart advises and we sit back in the memories missing their presence...
Goodbyes do hurt but sometimes, they just leave a mark behind...there are times when we know that the person who is about to leave, would never return.....that is the time when the heart bleeds from inside....at times the person leaves us and at others, we have to leave them....it maybe because someone dies, which surely makes it complicated but still it was a known farewell...but when the person is still alive and leaves because of some reason, that hurts.....
Well, no one can avoid it...what only matters is that we meet again...that is the only thing the heart desires...and that is the only request a person has for someone he leaves behind....
Upon this topic there is a famous Hindi song which I have in mind from days and would like to share it here, so enjoy, comment and do share...