My 131st Post: Am I Forgotten?

Am I forgotten? Ever wondered if people remember you even when you don’t talk anymore. I mean the person whom you used to be a best bud of and now you guys don’t talk, do you think they would have you in their mind still. Or someone whom you thought was important for you but then things didn’t work out and the chapter got shut away for the spiders to nest in. Ever wondered the way you think about them, the way you recall their precious memories, their names and their existence, would they be doing the same time after time.

I have met a lot of people in my age and with most of them, I don’t have any contact at all. Some were just random folks but then there also were those whom I wanted to be a part of my each and every memory. Destiny didn’t have their pictures in my timeline but still I have them in my head. Like the friends I had made in my junior years. Some of them are still in contact but then again majority are like the leaves of fall which flew away from me.

I still remember the names of each and every girl I had a crush upon or whom I fell in love with. Some of them know the fact that I was drooling upon them but specially the girl whose name the cupid struck me with knows it well because she is the only one till the date whom I had enough courage to propose. Well I do wonder if she even remembers me and recalls my memories or thoughts at times. She did had made it clear that I am not going to be a part of her memories by blocking me from every way possible but still, I just wonder if she remembers me.

Then there were random others whom I thought would remain my friends but it didn’t happen. Like a great friend of mine from the school days whom I used to hang out with. She was a nice person and best of all, she helped me out in my love thingy but then something went wrong and it ended. Or like my recent thought about a friend whom I had a misunderstanding with and now she remains at a distance though I did clear it all and our chat ended with my words that I would wait for her reply when she would be willing to talk no matter how high the pile of the years get. Now I wonder it has been months since we talked, does she even remember me. There are a lot of people like her whom I drifted apart from and it has been long since we talked but I don’t think they remember me because alright a girl might have some issues but what about a guy? What about my buddies from the school days whom I haven’t heard from in years. I really don’t even know if they are alive. Well that is life.

I do wonder and I believe everyone does because one can not just kill a memory out of the system. We are not machines whose RAM can be erased or something, we are humans with hearts. If we spend time with even a cat at our door, we remember it. It is mostly our ego and the awkwardness of time which binds us at distance. Well the destiny chose this for us. Some people stay and others just drift away. I would like some of them back but I don’t think anyone would want the entire fleet at their steps again because they were gone and when they left, it might have been a good thing to happen in life. Still I believe that no soul on Earth is forgotten just ignored due to our human nature. They left due to some reason but still they remain a part of our memories.

My 130th Post: Bath Of Sand

Yay dunya fani hai

Daulat to ani jani hai

Is dunya say dil mat lagao

Ik din mout galay lagani hai

In the above poetry, I speak of the limited time we have in this life which we think is going to last forever....this world is going to end one day and nothing is going to be left behind....all the treasures we hunt and all the wealth which we have stored under our pillows is going vanish one day as if nothing ever existed before...there is no use of loving this life because we are going to die one day and that day, we would have command over nothing at all....our bodies are going lie in the ground, baring the burden of sand covering us from head to toe....only a single piece of cloth would shield us from that sand but that still would be of no use because after death, there would be nothing to do just to wait for the time when we get answer for our deeds...
If you see around yourself, all you will find is man running after worldly possessions whether money or love just something which is never going to exist forever...such fools we are...when there is some power which we know and believe is going to remain forever...He was there before us and would remain after us....but still we run away from Him and try to grab what He made for our happiness....yes, we should try to earn what surrounds us but that does not mean that we run after them like a person on a quest of water in a desert....why don't we truly love the One who is always going to be there...why not to earn His respect and His love rather than trying to rise in the eyes of the creation....pleasing the creation might be a nice way to please the Creator but if the Creator Himself is calling upon us and is there if we reach for Him then why to waste time....I am a sinner myself....I know I am going to die one day and I know that I am not going to take anything with me when I die and I am well aware of the fact that when I die, people will mourn after me but they will move on with the passing days...yes, my parents will always miss me, my siblings will always think of me and my friends would always will to be in my company but they will move on....life won't end with me....I am just a piece of grain which contributes a little to the entire beach....I am nothing and would change nothing with my death....time will pass as it always does....this is just not a writer's made up imagination or just words of thought but I have experienced this....I have lost someone recently and she is not here in our lives but still, we are living....we do cry from time to time but we have picked up upon our routine....
Before the time arrives when am bathed in the sand and have nothing to care about, I want to do some rights...I don't want to die as a sinner and I really will to please my Lord so that I may end in a peaceful place, not in the tormenting hell...we all should do good because money may buy even love these days but it won't buy a place in heaven....getting rich is good but a person should always remember that graves of rich and poor are the same only the difference would be in their greed and their deeds....think of this world as a station which we are going to leave when the train arrives and till then, we should be nice with the strangers waiting along side us....we shouldn't live as selfish souls, instead our motive should be to help and heal the wounds which we think are in our power to cover...I hope we all do good and each time we think about something bad, we should remember our death staring at us from a corner we are unaware of...

Mout to ani hai
Yay dunya fani hai
Meri zindagi ki har baat
Ek mamuli si kahani hai

My 125th Post: And Then There Were Four

There is a rule of this world, we come alone and we die alone...doesn't matter how many friends we make or relations we succeed, we leave them behind without giving them any right to our time of death...they hang around to see one's body getting laid deep down the ground and shed tears but that doesn't affects the one descended to a place from where there is no return....losing someone is not that easy as one thinks it might be....no matter how much you fight or hate someone, after that someone dies, the world crashes...maybe for a while but still the life gets sucked out of your body....no matter how strong one might be, it is not always easy to hold back....
 When we grow up, we find people in our life in different relations...some act as our parents, some as our siblings and others as friends or foes.....we just get attached to them with time....their little things matter to us and become a part of our daily routines....they become just like a computer program which is incomplete without certain steps....without these people, life seems to hit a pause and nothing seems right.....everything messes up and the mind gets trapped in a maze with walls surrounding each exit.....
I have been trying to write this post from the first day but didn't have the strength to type....honestly speaking, I still don't think am strong enough to pour my heart out in front of you all....usually my posts are my thoughts about things happening around us but this post is purely filled up with my feelings....I just want to write and I think it is fair for my sister that I publish this article online....though she didn't read my work, she always appreciated my efforts and boosted me to write and always had a hope served in a tray for me so that I don't feel as if losing once ends each and every efforts....
On the morning of 2nd April 2014, we the family of five lost one member and now are left with the number four....I lost my sister on that morning....she crashed in the hospital....to be honest with you all, am a different kind of a guy....I really don't understand the type of love I have for people and I really don't know whether I loved her or not and I can't evaluate that....I know that I wanted always to be there for her, I know I wanted to secure her future the best way I could and I know that though we fought always, I never could watch her getting her dose of injections....I don't know whether that is love or not but I do know that she was a part of my life and she would always be there in my heart....I know that her death has shaken me up and turned my insides upside down....I know I miss her fights and her stuff....if that is love then maybe I did love her...maybe that is why I can't stand near her grave without a tear in my eye and maybe that is why I can't talk about her with people and maybe that is why I just can't keep my eyes dry while writing this down....I am strong masha-Allah but still am a human....
There is a lot to share but I don't think I would be able to do that right now so maybe in time I might write something else but I don't think I would post it here....but before ending I would just share, she fought with me on the day of her death and that proved that she recognized me where as she wasn't recognizing anyone else....
Do pray for her soul to be accepted in Jannat and may Allah save her from the torments of Hell....do keep her in your prayers.....

My 121st Post: The One

Fairy tales, t.v dramas and every other script which is based upon the concept of love, somehow ends with the same story that the guy and the girl finally are together...there is this image fed into the audience's mind that the hero was meant to fall in love with heroine and no matter how much they fought or didn't get along, they would finally be together...there are always differences between them but with time, the expected couple always would evolve into a one soul two body kind of image....I mean come on, does this really happen in real life? Is there someone there we don't notice but keep on avoiding or having arguments with but is the one we are going to end up with as if we are a part of some play and the cameras are pointed at us....every show airs that like Richard Castle and Kate Beckett from Castle or Ross and Rachel from Friends....both of these couples always fought but in the end, they got together because they were meant for each other....
The one....so in my case or in any of yours' case, there is someone we know and maybe encounter but that someone is in our life but maybe we are in a stage of ups and downs with that someone...so basically, for me, she is just around the corner and is in my play but we aren't together and won't get together until the time is right...can this be true...I mean the main lead in my play, the one who I am going to be with for the rest of my life is here in my life but I don't really see her that way or maybe she doesn't notices me as the one for her....I might have loved her once, but she didn't...then there might have been a time when she loved me but I didn't and so on so fore but we never confronted each other and moved on....then comes a time when we both would realise that there is no one else in this world meant for us rather than the one we are thinking of and we finally fall in love....
This can't be true...this is just like a fairytale come true...fairy tales don't come true but if they do, then these are really messed up but on the other hand there are mostly beautiful ones...if each one of these stories are properly traced down from the beginning of time till the end then Shakespeare's plays wouldn't even be known to the worst stages in this world....
I really don't know whether it is true or not but I do know for a fact that what so ever my story is or going to be, I really want to know or wait better, I really want it to be written down....the day am going to get together with that one, I would write down our whole story and maybe she was here all along but we never really knew...maybe the one is always around the corner and just waiting for the notion to play our part and get together....this gives a hope to look out for that one so if someone broke up with you, just means that the one who is really meant for you is around the corner just waiting for the cue....

My 110th Post: Suicide

A person lives once and unfortunately dies once....once you are dead, you can't return to this world and relive what you thought was useless.....every year around 800000 to a million people die due to committing suicide....these are the ones who have no respect for their lives and I personally believe that they are the weakest form of mankind.....they don't have the will to stand up against the world and try to change things....well, it is not entirely their fault because they never had the trust in God....they are amongst those who never understood His dealings and His justice.....
A rope tied around the neck or a jump from a cliff, are explained as difficult tasks....it is said that to commit suicide, one needs to have guts....it ain't an easy task to achieve....well I accept this statement because taking someone else's life is not that hard compared to killing oneself.....but still, there is strength in the will and the firmness upon the point of giving up....so in the end, no matter how rough and tough a suicider might seem to the entire world, he/she still is a looser....someone who couldn't achieve something and in return took his/her life just to prove that what he/she was after meant a lot to him/her.....maybe the point is clearly defined by the act of a suicide but in the end, that someone stays a looser because there is a loss of life and also would lose the reason that someone died for.....
I agree that at times things become difficult for a person to handle....life becomes tough and the tragedies bomb the entire mind but I believe that ain't a reason of giving up.....I am not talking about foolish reasons like dying for a guy or a girl because that in my understanding is just out of question...that someone is just a selfish soul who never deserved the love from his/her family.....just for a love of few days, months or perhaps years, people attempt suicide and the ones who are successful, leave behind the ones who loved and cherished them their entire life.....I believe that their families, no matter how ignoring, deserved better.....here am talking about people who go through tragedies like losing their families in a battle which was never their's or being robbed out of dignity or physical respect....these people are really hurt....the mind starts playing games and with time they start accepting the fact that there isn't any space for them in this society....death seems more attractive to them and they happily depart from this cruel world.....
If only those people had their believe in God, they might have stayed back and might have remained within our society...I know that it is easy for a person to write about others and tough to be the one who experiences things like that but still I wish there was a way out.....this society plays an equal part in those suicides....if our society wasn't this cruel, their hopes might have lived and they might have fought for their rights....but our society likes to rub in and scratch the fresh wounds until the victim falls upon his/her knees....instead of supporting someone, our society starts ignoring and keeps nagging until it is successful at washing the prints of that someone from the corner of this world.....
Let me ask you that what was the mistake of an innocent girl who was rapped on her way to school or the mistake of the guy who was honest with his job but due to political games, was imprisoned upon the charge of corruption...what did they do to the society or anyone to get this as a reward? they were clean but they suffered....they became weak and found death as their loyal companion because life was mocking them where ever they went....they committed suicide and left this world just to run away from this hell....they were wrong but the society wasn't right as well....they required justice but were treated as bugs in this society....
I wish to help those depressed souls and want to make them happy....before ruling out someone, try to see what went behind the scenes and help reducing the number of suicides...life is a beautiful gift bestowed upon us and we should cherish it rather than just running to quite it.....

My 77th Post: In Your Face Mayans

I guess enough time is given to Mayans to prove their prediction....21st of December crossed the entire planet and yet, I am here writing another post...so Mayans, I  guess you were high that night or what you predicted wasn't decryped correctly but well what ever it is, the world survived another year and is drawing to the next one....
On 21st, I was hoping for something to happen...I mean that I wasn't waiting for the world to end or any type of casualties but I was waiting for the news channels to troll the public....it would have been awesome if they aired false videos and information of earth quakes and floods saying that the world might end....with proper time intervals, they would have updated that Antarctica melted and global warming is going to take over the entire planet....I mean something like that or something like the plates are shifting and the Grand Canyon is widening up or the Bermuda Triangle is getting more electrostatic...the internet and mobile companies would have joined hands and shut down the networks....that would have really made the Mayans proud for a while but still proud.....
If something like that would have happened, one thing I think would have been true...2013 might have been a better year for many....people, with the thought that the world is ending and within hours they would definitely die, they would have crossed the limits.... ciaos would have taken over the entire planet but when the date would have crossed, people would have realized that what ever they did was just a cause of being trolled...secrets revealed and people would have known who is true to them and who ain't....well for me and my nation, I guess the best thing which might have happened would have been that we might have been expecting a new, can't say a better, but definitely a new president and a senate and a set of politicians....
I don't know how people fell for such a thing that a person or here a tribe can predict the Judgement Day where as they couldn't even predict the date of their extinction....if a person can do that, it means that he/she is playing god and a thing which needs to be born in order to play god, is no one rather than a lunatic who is blinded by the Al-Mighty and His given gift....
Everyone who believed and started panicking just lacks the faith in God....if they really survived that day, they should be ashamed of their act and should straighten their believe....people were really jumping here and there running to save their life but in fact, nothing was going to hit them....
If we see this from one angle, the Mayans might have trolled us....they might be some teenage kids who made up this tale and believed that one day it would be the biggest troll ever...if that is so, then I really salute to those Kings of Trolling....
Keep up the faith in Him because He is the only one who knows when things would end and till that day, try to do good as much as you can....
Tc, do comment and share.....

My 74th Post: A Run Towards The Beach

All might be wondering that the weather is hot and I want to cool of my body...but the ones who are aware about my location and the climate around me would just be assuring that I have finally lost it....it is not about the weather or about the cool breeze, I just want to head out for the beach...
At times in life, you need to cool off and there is no way to do it because you seem to get trapped in the mist of your thoughts and worries...you just desire to set free from everything and wonder off from your place to a place which might get you the illusion of heaven on this planet...for me, I guess that place would be a beach...a simple and peaceful environment, having the aroma of freedom....
One can't run away from his/her worries and to let them in the brain all alone without any one to share them with, is just a way to suicide...well not literally but still, that ain't good....so the beach drops in at that point....the cool breeze and the blue color of the water, kinda takes the load off one's head...it's relaxing and care free...
All alone, standing upon the sand and taking small steps around the shore till one reaches an end under the shine of the moon light, is something everyone needs once in a while...at this hour of the night, the sea would be calm as if it were there just to hear me speak and would stay silent or whisper once in a while to tell that it is there listening and enjoying the talk....after a while, I would locate a perfect spot which would have the view of the moon directly shining over the sooth waves...would lay down for a while with my upper body resting upon my elbows so that I can keep glazing over the sea....a time would come when my elbows would require some rest, would grab my hands behind my head and would look towards the sky while laying completely straight on the cold sand....at that point, would wonder off in the play of the twinkling stars...imagine, what a perfect and beautiful journey would that be....
Well, that would be my run towards the beach and my sight of heaven...everybody has their own likes and this is what I would prefer to give my mind a rest from the ciaos created in this life....
Tc, do comment and share..... 

My 35th Post: Insanity

A time comes when our conscious mind just losses it....it goes dumb and everything in front of us just goes from left to right...no matter how hard we try, we can't get things go straight....that is the time when our perfectly sane mind goes off track to a joint known as insanity.....
Even the simplest questions at times seem so tough that we stay confused of what to answer....nothing comes in our mind and instead of giving a logical answer, we hit a jackpot of the world's dumbest reply....still in the end our mind manages to make us laugh as if it were a clever thing to do....where is the justification in that? it ruined our chance and then instead of accepting its guilt, it goes on making fun of us....not fair...
The results are coming in tomorrow seems a normal situation for us but our brain views it as a chance to pull a gag on us.....instead of telling us to relax and sleep perfectly like a child, it keeps us reminding of the day and then shows us different images of the result....keeps us beeping all the time and the best part is when we lay down to sleep....o the brain goes wild.....there are dreams which we can't even imagine....things go wild and world seems upside down.....it keeps waking us with shocks at different times at night.....and as we wake up it remains ready to get us back to bed after increasing the rate of the heart.....the brain is a naughty fellow, keeps ruining things a lot....
Well that was just a part of it....insanity is caused by mostly having a tensed mind, like the time we await for our results....when we get highly tensed, things become impossible to concentrate on and everything becomes intolerable....even the slightest may seem irritating and the best person available may be the worst option ever.....insane brain is not a good feature....so for that a person should remain calm and try not to get tensed and think a lot about something...what ever would happen would be the best for us and we can't do anything in order to change it cause that was supposed to happen and would happen no matter how hard we try....
Still there are people who love to be insane....not exactly insane as the ones who can't think properly but they know the outcomes and still go on with the things they want.....they don't give up and don't even care about the outcome, just want to enjoy and live life to the fullest....example would be a bike rider who does a wheelie on a motorway or a car driver who goes on breaking the records of the highest speed.....that is insanity but with a little sane mind....driving a car while singing and dancing over a track seems insane to some but a sane decision to others....
Every mind has a different boot in system and each one views things differently.....one thing sane and perfect for me, may not be the same for you.....but still some things are insane and that is known by all like jumping off a 500ft cliff into the sea without any safety gear, that is insanity but well people are meant to get crazy and drift of the hook....you can't control that, it is the dare devil inside of you who speaks at that moment and no matter how hard one may try, it doesn't soothes down....
Keep on being insane but in limits....try not to get hurt or hurt others just cause you wanted to do that cause then it wouldn't do any good.....insanity leads to guilt at times, so we need to avoid that cause guilty by insanity is hard to swallow....
Tc, comment and share.....

My 19th Post: The Day I Die

A day would come
When sorrows will end
A day so mighty
That no soul can withstand
The day that I
Can't understand;

Was just wondering randomly that how would it be when the time stops...even the slightest movement seizes in that very instance and nothing would seem to have life in it to budge even as little as the tiniest particle, the atom....how would it be when I come to know that I am going to leave this world....
I have given a test, my result is going to come on etc date...I came in this world so my birthday is going to be celebrated on 12 December...but I don't know the date or time for my funeral....the day I die is not fed to my brain....or maybe it is in it somewhere but I ain't aware of it....I don't know whether in the end of this post I would be there to write another one or not...or maybe I live long enough to keep on writing till the 1000th post....who knows....
We all have to leave someday but what if we knew how and when we leave, would that be better?...we would be able to prepare our self for that moment....at least try to complete every single assignment which we have ignored till that time....get a farewell from all the ones we are close to....just imagine....someone who knows when he/she is going to die, they would throw a gathering and sit with everyone they know and clear the guilt, the grudges and forgive everyone and in the end just sit there in the company which they loved throughout their life time and leave the world....won't that be the happy ending illustrated in the fairy tales or that would be the craziest ending.....
I think we are better off like this cause if someone knows when he/she is going to die, they are just going to ruin their remaining time....if someone knows that the end is going to arrive in exactly 2 months, those 2 months are going to be living hell.....they would try to achieve as many goals as they can and the one's who have responsibilities would burst out with tears cause two months aren't enough to do everything, the things which weren't completed in years, can't end in months....but what if we know the day we die from the time of our birth..would that make any difference? I don't think so....
Life like this is just perfect....to know when we are going to die would ruin everything....every single day in tension and full of stress and people would become reluctant and frustrating...everything would become unbalanced and it would be a total ciaos.....
The day I die, I don't know what I would be up to and how would it be but at least till I am unaware of it, I am relaxed...yes, at times I just feel that I haven't achieved goals still but then I tell myself that insha-Allah there would be a new tomorrow...not knowing when it would end, I can still have hope and that is all I want....

Let my day
End in peace
No sorrow  to suppress
No tear to grease
Would like to
Leave this world with a mighty smile
Flow with the wind
Just like the fast flowing Nile...

Tc and do comment.....