My 132nd Post: Why Have I Stopped?

I will just start this blog abruptly without any proper introductory paragraph. The last time I had published over this platform was back in 2015 and today, it is 2021. Nearly six years have passed since my last post and that is a long time. I haven’t stopped writing, well no not really. I have been around sharing quotes, publishing academic papers, freelancing, and stuff like that but I haven’t really written something from my heart for my heart.

There are a couple of reasons for my absence, though they might just be excuses but still, I would like to believe that they are valid excuses. One of them which is really the worst is that I have become demotivated to write. I used to believe that I have a way with words and my hands are the medium of art but I came to understand that I might be flying over polluted clouds. My words, well they haven’t generated many readers and followers and I guess they aren’t really worthy of much praise so I just went silent. The other reason is life. Life is a beautiful trauma for us to live and wait for the light to reach our eyes.

I do have a lot to write and talk about but at the same time, I have nothing to say worthy enough for someone to read. This post is just an explanation post for a friend whom I really respect and I owe this much at least.

All I wish to say is that I do will to write but then again, I wonder, is it worth it to type down my words in front of the world who sees no charm in them? Should I really paint my thoughts over such canvases or should I just go back to my silence? I really don’t have a clue about that. I might start writing once again if this post gets even 10 views or few comments because they will prove to me that I am heard and people do like hearing from me or who am I kidding with this?

So, basically, I have nothing more to say upon why I have stopped. Or maybe I do, but then again it is better to be left chained in my brain rather than inked down on this blog. But I can say, I still love to write and am passionate about this art. Even while writing this post, which basically is just a random vent, I am enjoying the music my fingers are making when they press the keys on the keyboard. Writing is and I believe will always be a part of who I am and that will never die but the fact remains that would I let it out publicly or not? I don’t know but who knows, we never know what life has stored for us in the upcoming moments. We just have to live it the best way we can.

“So, have fun, stay safe and continue social distancing to be safe from COVID-19 because it is not a fun to get ill,” words to live by from two-time COVID survivor :)

 

 

My 125th Post: And Then There Were Four

There is a rule of this world, we come alone and we die alone...doesn't matter how many friends we make or relations we succeed, we leave them behind without giving them any right to our time of death...they hang around to see one's body getting laid deep down the ground and shed tears but that doesn't affects the one descended to a place from where there is no return....losing someone is not that easy as one thinks it might be....no matter how much you fight or hate someone, after that someone dies, the world crashes...maybe for a while but still the life gets sucked out of your body....no matter how strong one might be, it is not always easy to hold back....
 When we grow up, we find people in our life in different relations...some act as our parents, some as our siblings and others as friends or foes.....we just get attached to them with time....their little things matter to us and become a part of our daily routines....they become just like a computer program which is incomplete without certain steps....without these people, life seems to hit a pause and nothing seems right.....everything messes up and the mind gets trapped in a maze with walls surrounding each exit.....
I have been trying to write this post from the first day but didn't have the strength to type....honestly speaking, I still don't think am strong enough to pour my heart out in front of you all....usually my posts are my thoughts about things happening around us but this post is purely filled up with my feelings....I just want to write and I think it is fair for my sister that I publish this article online....though she didn't read my work, she always appreciated my efforts and boosted me to write and always had a hope served in a tray for me so that I don't feel as if losing once ends each and every efforts....
On the morning of 2nd April 2014, we the family of five lost one member and now are left with the number four....I lost my sister on that morning....she crashed in the hospital....to be honest with you all, am a different kind of a guy....I really don't understand the type of love I have for people and I really don't know whether I loved her or not and I can't evaluate that....I know that I wanted always to be there for her, I know I wanted to secure her future the best way I could and I know that though we fought always, I never could watch her getting her dose of injections....I don't know whether that is love or not but I do know that she was a part of my life and she would always be there in my heart....I know that her death has shaken me up and turned my insides upside down....I know I miss her fights and her stuff....if that is love then maybe I did love her...maybe that is why I can't stand near her grave without a tear in my eye and maybe that is why I can't talk about her with people and maybe that is why I just can't keep my eyes dry while writing this down....I am strong masha-Allah but still am a human....
There is a lot to share but I don't think I would be able to do that right now so maybe in time I might write something else but I don't think I would post it here....but before ending I would just share, she fought with me on the day of her death and that proved that she recognized me where as she wasn't recognizing anyone else....
Do pray for her soul to be accepted in Jannat and may Allah save her from the torments of Hell....do keep her in your prayers.....

My 117th Post: Random Words

It has been around two months since I came out with my last post....somehow I am unable to write....when I write, I just lose the sight of my path and then there I am, with my words hanging without an edge and I keep on removing that post from my published list....I really don't know why but somehow I believe that I can't write any more....it is like I have a major block in my head which is making me post nothing though there are so many things to write upon here....I have many topics waiting for my mind to put out in words but when I start writing, I end up watching some video or playing those stupid facebook games....it is just like I have a torch while walking down the path in a darkness filled valley but what I miss are the batteries for my torch...somehow the writing spree is hung up as that light from that valley....
I really do want to write but I don't know why I keep resisting....I do believe that I am not a bad writer but well I guess there is this voice in my back head which keeps telling me that you really don't have much readers and it simply means that my writing is way worse than many....that voice has conquered my will I suppose....somehow I have lost the battle with that voice but I want to prove it wrong and want to win this war...so what if it won the battle, the war is still for me to win...

Writing all this has really brought me up....well literally speaking then I did change my posture from lying down to sitting up but well I think this is working....there is this light I can see at the moment which is trying to tell me to find the path....it is telling me that I haven't diverted much...the path is still there and the light is vibrating...o sorry, that was my cell phone so I guess no light at all....
I really think I should write again....I really do love writing and I was an idiot for ignoring this beauty...now writing all this I really think I have missed my hands upon this keyboard and making sounds like tic tic tic....and the pain from typing is really amazing....I don't know if you guys are really reading this still and if reading, you guys are not having an image of a lunatic blogger but I will write....I guess my block ends with this post and from tomorrow onwards insha-Allah, I will blog properly once more....
Best of luck to me guys and please keep on motivating me with your comments and your views...thank you...

My 28th Post: Diary

"Dear Diary,
                 How have you been...well I have kept you well in my drawer so I don't think there would be any trouble in your stay....yes, at times the watch may become irritating by ticking all the time but I guess the stay would have been comforting till yet.....you know, I have been writing this blog from two months now and this is going to be my 28th post...o yeah, 28th; you read my words perfectly....its nice when I see people stopping by to view my work and appreciate it at times....o haha I just recalled something while typing appreciate...this was in a series where Raj from the Big Bang Theory....................."

So mostly it all starts of from there and keeps on going as if we were chatting with someone who was way close to us....its just like talking to a reflection of our self and that is easy while expressing one's feelings or emotions.....but it is talking to our self....we make the mind vision that someone on the other side is there to read but it is us who do the writing and the reading.....
Diaries are in from years in the society....the way I started of in the above quote, is my style of becoming friendly with my brain....some people just shoot off what they did and would do maybe in a bullet format....a diary is a book which holds our dearest secrets....it can be called the log of our life.....everything from watching a bird fly to coming home late, is scribbled in it....it is just like a friend who just can't reply but would listen and bare with you throughout your journey....
Some people find it odd when they get to know that someone maintains their diary....they find it mentally ill....why to view it in a negative way? writing a diary is beneficial....it keeps the stress level down, keeps a track of all your history and develops charismatic skills in a person cause while writing a diary the brain thinks that we are talking to someone else and the way to respond to someone becomes easy if the writer is lacking confidence....so I would say that it is a good practice to write a diary....
There are people who I have seen sharing their diaries....now that is weird for me at least cause a diary, if you realize its you, holds minute information about you and someone else reading it in details is kind of creepy or maybe it is just me cause I don't really open up that much....I do have secrets shared with my friends but still there is a lot of me which rarely know about and even my diary is empty.....I used to write it when I was a kid but couldn't make it my habit.....but still I feel a person should remain a mystery for others till some particular extent cause everyone shouldn't be aware of you and that is why I would tell all those who maintain a diary, please keep it in a safe place....
And yes in the end I would like to add that reading someone's diary without permission is ill-mannered though it is really a fun thing to do but you shouldn't dare to do it especially when you know you can get caught cause then my friend, life gets a lot bumpy :P
Well keep on writing cause writing is life and with that take care, comment and share my blog with all the readers you can get your hands on......

My 1st Post: The Welcoming Speech

Hey ya all...welcome to my new blogging platform :)
I hope you guys like this and I do hope there are plenty of readers who would like to follow my blog...
this is just a welcoming post to my new blog and I will write a precise one :) ...it feels nice to write NEW BLOG again and again :P I don't know
why but I kinda like the idea of it being NEW :D
well I hope to be together with you people through my thoughts inscribed in my writing :)

Tc and subscribe :)