My 132nd Post: Why Have I Stopped?

I will just start this blog abruptly without any proper introductory paragraph. The last time I had published over this platform was back in 2015 and today, it is 2021. Nearly six years have passed since my last post and that is a long time. I haven’t stopped writing, well no not really. I have been around sharing quotes, publishing academic papers, freelancing, and stuff like that but I haven’t really written something from my heart for my heart.

There are a couple of reasons for my absence, though they might just be excuses but still, I would like to believe that they are valid excuses. One of them which is really the worst is that I have become demotivated to write. I used to believe that I have a way with words and my hands are the medium of art but I came to understand that I might be flying over polluted clouds. My words, well they haven’t generated many readers and followers and I guess they aren’t really worthy of much praise so I just went silent. The other reason is life. Life is a beautiful trauma for us to live and wait for the light to reach our eyes.

I do have a lot to write and talk about but at the same time, I have nothing to say worthy enough for someone to read. This post is just an explanation post for a friend whom I really respect and I owe this much at least.

All I wish to say is that I do will to write but then again, I wonder, is it worth it to type down my words in front of the world who sees no charm in them? Should I really paint my thoughts over such canvases or should I just go back to my silence? I really don’t have a clue about that. I might start writing once again if this post gets even 10 views or few comments because they will prove to me that I am heard and people do like hearing from me or who am I kidding with this?

So, basically, I have nothing more to say upon why I have stopped. Or maybe I do, but then again it is better to be left chained in my brain rather than inked down on this blog. But I can say, I still love to write and am passionate about this art. Even while writing this post, which basically is just a random vent, I am enjoying the music my fingers are making when they press the keys on the keyboard. Writing is and I believe will always be a part of who I am and that will never die but the fact remains that would I let it out publicly or not? I don’t know but who knows, we never know what life has stored for us in the upcoming moments. We just have to live it the best way we can.

“So, have fun, stay safe and continue social distancing to be safe from COVID-19 because it is not a fun to get ill,” words to live by from two-time COVID survivor :)

 

 

My 127th Post: Why No Posts

I haven't blogged in the past few weeks....I am busy but I always was busy...that ain't the reason of me not playing in the rain of my words...I love to write and I always have time for this...the only difference this time is that I wanted to be heard and to be read....any thoughts in my mind, I just wanted everyone to share them and to be a part of my world but these days, I don't want to be heard....I don't want to be read....and I don't want anyone to be a part of what I have because somehow I have just grown a degree of possessiveness about my thoughts, my dreams and my words.....
I know this all sounds rude to many of you but I like to be honest and I feel it as my duty to at least convey this bit to all those who miss my writing and my updates....there are few who keep telling me to write and to post here and I do respect their motivation and their care but I feel that I need time for me....time for some silence to take over my space so that I can savoir the moments I have spent...I just want to be silent for a while and play in my head with my words and I believe somehow they are just too personal to share....they are too sensitive to reveal and to mess with....I just believe they are just mine and mine alone....my mind isn't empty or blank, there is a lot going on upon the roads and under the bridges but I have closed all the exits just because I don't want anything to go out.....
I would insha-Allah write upon some topic real soon....there are a lot in my mind which I want to write upon...just a few more days till I stand up upon the stage and would scribble my words so they can be projected towards your screens....till then take care and thank you guys for being there.....

My 117th Post: Random Words

It has been around two months since I came out with my last post....somehow I am unable to write....when I write, I just lose the sight of my path and then there I am, with my words hanging without an edge and I keep on removing that post from my published list....I really don't know why but somehow I believe that I can't write any more....it is like I have a major block in my head which is making me post nothing though there are so many things to write upon here....I have many topics waiting for my mind to put out in words but when I start writing, I end up watching some video or playing those stupid facebook games....it is just like I have a torch while walking down the path in a darkness filled valley but what I miss are the batteries for my torch...somehow the writing spree is hung up as that light from that valley....
I really do want to write but I don't know why I keep resisting....I do believe that I am not a bad writer but well I guess there is this voice in my back head which keeps telling me that you really don't have much readers and it simply means that my writing is way worse than many....that voice has conquered my will I suppose....somehow I have lost the battle with that voice but I want to prove it wrong and want to win this war...so what if it won the battle, the war is still for me to win...

Writing all this has really brought me up....well literally speaking then I did change my posture from lying down to sitting up but well I think this is working....there is this light I can see at the moment which is trying to tell me to find the path....it is telling me that I haven't diverted much...the path is still there and the light is vibrating...o sorry, that was my cell phone so I guess no light at all....
I really think I should write again....I really do love writing and I was an idiot for ignoring this beauty...now writing all this I really think I have missed my hands upon this keyboard and making sounds like tic tic tic....and the pain from typing is really amazing....I don't know if you guys are really reading this still and if reading, you guys are not having an image of a lunatic blogger but I will write....I guess my block ends with this post and from tomorrow onwards insha-Allah, I will blog properly once more....
Best of luck to me guys and please keep on motivating me with your comments and your views...thank you...

My 48th Post: Blocked

It has been two days since I have updated my blog....don't know why, but somehow I am unable to write....it ain't that I don't have topics in my head, but nothing to write....I start of a topic then end it after few paragraphs....I am just unable to get on with words....I want to play around and write but I am blocked....can't really think of anything after a while....
It feels like my head is going to burst after writing further so instead of keeping it under stress, I just change the topic or leave the post...but I want to be here and speak through my words...the urge of writing just makes me glaze upon the page for many breaths but still that is followed by a frozen breath and I end up shutting down my pc....
It has been two whole days and nothing upon my blog....that is just eating me up; seriously...right now, I feel I want to end this post and close the window and move away from this all....somehow am unable to concentrate on anything, somehow I just feel my mind is lost somewhere, a place where nothing is able to reach out and grab it back....
Well I hope I get back soon and start off with my writing....I really want to write but well not always someone can continue...I think my brain needs some rest and in no time insha-Allah it would be back with new and amazing posts....for now, this would work just fine...at least this would sooth me and comfort me by making me feel that the blog is updated...
Tc people....comment upon the posts and share it with people :)

My 28th Post: Diary

"Dear Diary,
                 How have you been...well I have kept you well in my drawer so I don't think there would be any trouble in your stay....yes, at times the watch may become irritating by ticking all the time but I guess the stay would have been comforting till yet.....you know, I have been writing this blog from two months now and this is going to be my 28th post...o yeah, 28th; you read my words perfectly....its nice when I see people stopping by to view my work and appreciate it at times....o haha I just recalled something while typing appreciate...this was in a series where Raj from the Big Bang Theory....................."

So mostly it all starts of from there and keeps on going as if we were chatting with someone who was way close to us....its just like talking to a reflection of our self and that is easy while expressing one's feelings or emotions.....but it is talking to our self....we make the mind vision that someone on the other side is there to read but it is us who do the writing and the reading.....
Diaries are in from years in the society....the way I started of in the above quote, is my style of becoming friendly with my brain....some people just shoot off what they did and would do maybe in a bullet format....a diary is a book which holds our dearest secrets....it can be called the log of our life.....everything from watching a bird fly to coming home late, is scribbled in it....it is just like a friend who just can't reply but would listen and bare with you throughout your journey....
Some people find it odd when they get to know that someone maintains their diary....they find it mentally ill....why to view it in a negative way? writing a diary is beneficial....it keeps the stress level down, keeps a track of all your history and develops charismatic skills in a person cause while writing a diary the brain thinks that we are talking to someone else and the way to respond to someone becomes easy if the writer is lacking confidence....so I would say that it is a good practice to write a diary....
There are people who I have seen sharing their diaries....now that is weird for me at least cause a diary, if you realize its you, holds minute information about you and someone else reading it in details is kind of creepy or maybe it is just me cause I don't really open up that much....I do have secrets shared with my friends but still there is a lot of me which rarely know about and even my diary is empty.....I used to write it when I was a kid but couldn't make it my habit.....but still I feel a person should remain a mystery for others till some particular extent cause everyone shouldn't be aware of you and that is why I would tell all those who maintain a diary, please keep it in a safe place....
And yes in the end I would like to add that reading someone's diary without permission is ill-mannered though it is really a fun thing to do but you shouldn't dare to do it especially when you know you can get caught cause then my friend, life gets a lot bumpy :P
Well keep on writing cause writing is life and with that take care, comment and share my blog with all the readers you can get your hands on......

My 24th Post: Let the Word out

Everywhere it is the same....there are locks upon the mouths people who see and hear everything....they don't say a word against the wrong doing and still expect the things to get better....it is impossible....it is just like, I would sit and watch t.v all day and still want viewers here on my blog....why would that happen? unless and until I don't put and effort into it, I won't get that....I need to get on with my work and pick up my lazy bones to get you guys here reading my words....
But that is not what I want to say.....I just wanna say that someone has to stand up...who says to be there in the public and start shouting? there are ways to get justice....the word known as anonymous helps a lot here....instead of posting something under your name, you can simply hide your identity just like some undercover cop....these days the communication is strong...the media picks up anything which seems a leading fact to the broken chain....
It is easy, just get some guts....I am not only talking about telling the truth and stand for justice for political matters or all those that involve the betterment of a country....someone can stand up simply for a kid in school who was telling the truth that he did do his homework but his dog ate it, that is if his dog really ate it....but well, we should just tell people....if can't express verbally then you can just do it through your writing....people will read....and when you would do that, you would make yourself proud even if what you stood for didn't get an applause....just keep in mind that sometimes to do right, you may get in trouble but that is alright cause you did something right and you stood up...that is what all matters.....
So people let the word out in any best way possible and let people know the truth.....until and unless we don't speak the truth, our community wouldn't prosper...instead it would go down and down and down...
Tc, do comment and share and think upon what I just talked about here.....

My 20th Post: Languages

When people meet, they greet each other and then start talking....some talk about politics, some about games and some about daily life...but that I am not concerned about....it just fascinates me the way they communicate with each other, the way they understand what other is saying and in what way they have to reply....all this is due to the use of a language...
It can be of any type and format...even a language can be a sign language instead of using plain words....it is just a way to express our mind so that others may understand and see where we aim....artist communicate using the language of colours...they may be black and white but still it is clearly shown what they want others to know....
It is just beautiful how people talk....I always get trapped in the magic spread by a group of chatters...at times I pause everything and just listen to different languages being uttered at a same instant....they may include the whistling of birds, the barking of dogs, the meowing of cats, the fighting of people, the playing of kids,the blabbering of a new born, the confused tone of a delivery guy or any whisper that reaches my ear...
I also enjoy hearing to people whose tongue I can't get a grab of...they keep speaking and no matter how hard I try, I can't understand them cause that ain't fed to my system...but still I keep standing there and listen to them cause its sweet....like for instance I love hearing Chinese, no offence, but it is kind of a cute language and I like it....
The power of a language can tear a part nations and can in the same place bring two nations together....I really don't know how to state this but it is the best experience in life....the power of communication is a blessing and that really can shred rusted hearts....the eye's language, the heart's language or the smile's language, all are awesome....some of you might just say that there ain't any language like the ones I mentioned, for those I would just say, try to imagine things beyond the limits of just my written words....
Tc....do comment and share....