My 125th Post: And Then There Were Four

There is a rule of this world, we come alone and we die alone...doesn't matter how many friends we make or relations we succeed, we leave them behind without giving them any right to our time of death...they hang around to see one's body getting laid deep down the ground and shed tears but that doesn't affects the one descended to a place from where there is no return....losing someone is not that easy as one thinks it might be....no matter how much you fight or hate someone, after that someone dies, the world crashes...maybe for a while but still the life gets sucked out of your body....no matter how strong one might be, it is not always easy to hold back....
 When we grow up, we find people in our life in different relations...some act as our parents, some as our siblings and others as friends or foes.....we just get attached to them with time....their little things matter to us and become a part of our daily routines....they become just like a computer program which is incomplete without certain steps....without these people, life seems to hit a pause and nothing seems right.....everything messes up and the mind gets trapped in a maze with walls surrounding each exit.....
I have been trying to write this post from the first day but didn't have the strength to type....honestly speaking, I still don't think am strong enough to pour my heart out in front of you all....usually my posts are my thoughts about things happening around us but this post is purely filled up with my feelings....I just want to write and I think it is fair for my sister that I publish this article online....though she didn't read my work, she always appreciated my efforts and boosted me to write and always had a hope served in a tray for me so that I don't feel as if losing once ends each and every efforts....
On the morning of 2nd April 2014, we the family of five lost one member and now are left with the number four....I lost my sister on that morning....she crashed in the hospital....to be honest with you all, am a different kind of a guy....I really don't understand the type of love I have for people and I really don't know whether I loved her or not and I can't evaluate that....I know that I wanted always to be there for her, I know I wanted to secure her future the best way I could and I know that though we fought always, I never could watch her getting her dose of injections....I don't know whether that is love or not but I do know that she was a part of my life and she would always be there in my heart....I know that her death has shaken me up and turned my insides upside down....I know I miss her fights and her stuff....if that is love then maybe I did love her...maybe that is why I can't stand near her grave without a tear in my eye and maybe that is why I can't talk about her with people and maybe that is why I just can't keep my eyes dry while writing this down....I am strong masha-Allah but still am a human....
There is a lot to share but I don't think I would be able to do that right now so maybe in time I might write something else but I don't think I would post it here....but before ending I would just share, she fought with me on the day of her death and that proved that she recognized me where as she wasn't recognizing anyone else....
Do pray for her soul to be accepted in Jannat and may Allah save her from the torments of Hell....do keep her in your prayers.....

My 124th Post: Am Drowning

This is something, I just wanted to write down without any real motive or thought maybe....

Am drowning

Without water pulling me down

Without sand covering my frown

Yet, am drowning

With the sorrows of this world

With the mysteries so curled

No idea where to stand

No idea what to hold

My vision is growing dark

There is no light or a spark

Am drowning

And headed somewhere which is far

Somewhere which holds me like a tar

Somewhere where I can't see any return

Place where I feel my heart burn

There is no end to this all

It feels like a never ending fall

My mind is gone numb

It feels like a wasted crumb

No thoughts ahead

No happiness thread

It is gone dumb

But yet

It knows am drowning

It can see my inside frowning

With time yet to come

It would stand

And look at his chum

Won't do a thing about that

But, it surely would regret

It surely would regret...

My 123rd Post: Stranger On Chat

I am just blank...I don't know how to start this....really there is nothing in my mind....no words no nothing....it should be something nice, something interesting, something out of this world...it should be something which would grab the reader off her feet and into the air floating over my words....it should be something perfect, something which no one might have ever used....it should be something from my heart but still should be classy enough to show my coolness.....I know what to say and I just know the right words to type....they would be "hi there"....
On a chat, with a total stranger....it is like going in a war with Japanese weaponry but having no clue of the instructed language.....no idea what to say and how to grab the attention....the mind goes totally blank because each smooth line might trigger the bomb that is might force the person to leave....the mind keeps wondering what to say because that start is the only thing that would impress the other person to stay and talk....it shouldn't be too cheesy because that is totally fattening for a start....it shouldn't be out of line because that would break the glass of respect....it shouldn't be something over thought because something which reveals how much you thought before starting a simple chat would indicate the fact that you are a pretender....it should be something simple and appealing at the same time....a simple compliment or greeting work at times.....

Got a reply, now what....everything goes blank....adrenaline rushes through the system and the eyes keep staring at the screen...the heart pumps faster and faster as if it were to beat the time track of Indianapolis 500....for a moment, the hands freeze upon the keyboard and the mind tries to settle back in....suddenly, you gain enough strength to strike some keys and there you have it, a reply upon your screen ready to be sent....the conversation starts and the stranger settles in....victory...
Talking to this stranger seems wonderful because there is a feeling that even though that someone doesn't knows you, he/she is still willing to be there for you....it feels that there is hope in you and you are good enough to get an attention from a total stranger, that you deserve things in life....it gives a rise to dead motivation in life and brings a new dawn....
Talking to strangers isn't safe, that is what we were taught but what is safe? The person you knew since your childhood turned out to be a crook so that leaves a chance that this someone might be an angel or someone whom you might really count on in the upcoming future....stranger today might be someone important tomorrow....trusting someone is something else but before deciding that you can't trust someone, you need to give a chance at least....if there isn't any trust then there is nothing to break and if nothing to break then there is no spice and if no spice then no life....talk to a stranger today...try to know that someone....there are good people even outside the circle you live in.....

My 122nd Post: I Will Be There

When the sun goes down

When your face grows a frown

I will be there

When you would turn around

When you would lose your ground

I will be there

No matter what

Today, tomorrow, whenever you call

I will be there, to catch you from your fall

At times, it gets really difficult to hold on to people and to be with them from day to night....feelings change, people change and even the situations change...there are multiple reasons due to which a rift might bridge a part two people and send them to different corners from where they wouldn't want to be around each other....sometimes it is a mutual decision but at others, one has to suffer while the other walks away....
There are people who never leave....though they might leave physically and break off each and every thread binding two people, they always remains tattooed in the heart....they are among the ones for whom a person would love to cross the limits just to light a smile upon their face...the ones who would never be forgotten and would own the rights of one's care....
People fight and people drift off but at times the heart keeps on saying to them that I will be there no matter what happens...no matter how tough things get or how far a part they are, the inner voice would always tell them that don't worry, the person owning the rights of this heart and voice would always be there for you no matter how deep you fall...this someone would always jump after you without thinking a thing or two....people are not always compatible with each other or they might start developing new feelings or adopt a different nature....reasons like these rot the relationship and leaves no other alternative rather than to end in respect....but some of these people are precious and no matter how hard you try, you always feel that you somehow care for them....you always feel the will to fight for their smile and still you don't want to be with them or aren't with them....
Well, I know there are some people in my life whom I still kinda care about and would always want to be there to hold them up when they take a fall....I am not only talking about someone I have been in love with in the sense of guy and girl thing but someone who means a lot to me....that someone might be a sister to me, a brother to me, a best friend, a special friend, someone special or someone from the past but I know the list of those someones whom I am going to be there for no matter how things turn out between us....so I would like to say that I will be there when you would need me, I will be there when you think you got no one to talk to and I will be there when you want a hand....there is no need for me to mention their names because simply reading this post would prompt the ones whom I am conveying this message to...

If there are people in your life who you feel are important to you or you think you would always be there for them, do tell them one way or another....show them that you mean it and make them count on you....make them realize that someone really cares for them...do it before the time runs out....if you find it hard telling them, then simply share my post with them and dedicate it to them...they will clearly understand your intentions and your motives.....

My 121st Post: The One

Fairy tales, t.v dramas and every other script which is based upon the concept of love, somehow ends with the same story that the guy and the girl finally are together...there is this image fed into the audience's mind that the hero was meant to fall in love with heroine and no matter how much they fought or didn't get along, they would finally be together...there are always differences between them but with time, the expected couple always would evolve into a one soul two body kind of image....I mean come on, does this really happen in real life? Is there someone there we don't notice but keep on avoiding or having arguments with but is the one we are going to end up with as if we are a part of some play and the cameras are pointed at us....every show airs that like Richard Castle and Kate Beckett from Castle or Ross and Rachel from Friends....both of these couples always fought but in the end, they got together because they were meant for each other....
The one....so in my case or in any of yours' case, there is someone we know and maybe encounter but that someone is in our life but maybe we are in a stage of ups and downs with that someone...so basically, for me, she is just around the corner and is in my play but we aren't together and won't get together until the time is right...can this be true...I mean the main lead in my play, the one who I am going to be with for the rest of my life is here in my life but I don't really see her that way or maybe she doesn't notices me as the one for her....I might have loved her once, but she didn't...then there might have been a time when she loved me but I didn't and so on so fore but we never confronted each other and moved on....then comes a time when we both would realise that there is no one else in this world meant for us rather than the one we are thinking of and we finally fall in love....
This can't be true...this is just like a fairytale come true...fairy tales don't come true but if they do, then these are really messed up but on the other hand there are mostly beautiful ones...if each one of these stories are properly traced down from the beginning of time till the end then Shakespeare's plays wouldn't even be known to the worst stages in this world....
I really don't know whether it is true or not but I do know for a fact that what so ever my story is or going to be, I really want to know or wait better, I really want it to be written down....the day am going to get together with that one, I would write down our whole story and maybe she was here all along but we never really knew...maybe the one is always around the corner and just waiting for the notion to play our part and get together....this gives a hope to look out for that one so if someone broke up with you, just means that the one who is really meant for you is around the corner just waiting for the cue....

My 120th Post: Smile :)

Mornings always bring out some changes in our moods....one day we wake up mad or the other just carry a feeling of loneliness....today I woke up, I didn't have either of those two....there was something hanging upon my face....I don't know where it came from or why is it really there but I have a smile on my face which is even smiling as I am writing this post.....regardless yesterday's ups and downs, am smiling today and I think it is really a blessing to smile like this....
At times there are some people in your contact list who just bring out a smile upon your face....their presence just makes it everything for you to achieve at that moment and you start smiling....words fade away and there is nothing to say at all except for passing a smile....every negative vibe dies off and a pleasant air fills the space....who knew that flexing few muscles could result in such a beautiful thing....
A smile is a solution to many problems...it can fix relations, it can cheer up people, it can give a feeling of warmth, it is just magical.....smile really isn't an answer of everything but the least it can do is to give someone a hope....a simple smile can cover up a large statement, 'don't worry, it will be alright..'...
I really don't have much to talk upon this topic because all I can think about is smiling at the screen....it is like I want to smile to all my readers and make them understand what I really want to say....this smile is a feeling of heaven....I really feel my heart flying towards the sky and there is no pain in it....it feels as if everything is cured by this smile I have right now.....it is like fight with me right now and all you would see is me smiling...okay yeah I would beat you back but with a smile and I guess that is what matters....
It might seem as if am a lunatic or something like that who is smiling all the time for nothing at all....yeah sure, maybe am gone goo goo but does it really matters? I mean at least I am happy from inside and my smile really boosts my soul....smiling a lot isn't bad if you ask me...sure it ain't healthy but still, it is the best feeling one can have and I am proud to have this as a part of my life...
People do various drugs just to achieve a state from where they can forget the life they are living...they go after meths or heroine and consume bags of money and destroy their health as well....for me, smiling is the best drug of them all....its cost are nominal and it is available all the time and it is good for health....so yeah, I am high but high upon my smile :)

My 119th Post: My Lady

When a guy grows up, a girl walks into his life without any invitation at times and remains not as a tenant but as the owner of his heart....he lets her be around him all the time and without her, he thinks he is simply incomplete and feels weak to face this world....that someone changes him and brings out someone whom the world had rarely seen....the perfect girl, though she might not be perfect for others but she is the jewel for that guy, the jewel which no one can value except him....
My lady, this seems a beautiful achievement in one's life and it is precious but the thing is that a jewel remains valuable until it gets praised by the world....this is the part where a guy falls behind and with time his lady feels that she is nothing but a trophy won and has earned a place upon his shelf....a lady ain't a trophy to place upon a shelf, she is to be cherished through out....
There are many girls who complain to their husbands that they don't have time for them or they don't care about them or stuff like they loved them before they were married and the love drowned after signing a piece of paper....mostly, they are wrong.....I am not defending those husbands because I believe that it is entirely their fault....a girl who left her house and her family to start a new one with a guy who once was a stranger, would want attention from him....she would want his time and his compliments.....loving someone and flirting etc is easier before marriage but continuing it afterwards is the main task in hand....guys mostly fall back in this situation...they have a thought in their minds that now that they have got the girl of their dreams, they need to concentrate upon their future so that his family may stand up strong....he isn't thinking wrong but the fault is in his balance.....when a husband comes home, his wife expects him to look at her and compliment over her dress maybe but mostly guys just change clothes and hit the sofa because they need a break and want to relax...
Ladies aren't tough to handle...little things are important for them...they make them happy and when their guy appreciates the effort, it is like a big achievement for them....instead of getting home from work and hitting shower, a guy can give his girl a hug and compliment upon maybe her dress or her hair or the flour upon her cheek....anything, it just shows that he notices and a girl wants nothing else just the thing that whom she exhausts herself for, notices her or not.....this is an era of mobiles and each and mostly everyone has one....when you were her boyfriend or fiance, there isn't any moment when you didn't message her and asked her what she was doing....after marrying, same can be done....it takes way too little effort....just show her that she is there in your mind....though she is there all the time but you need to show her that....just a simple way, tell her that you love her from time to time, that would fill her heart with butterflies...
I know I have compared a lady with materialistic things but my motive was positive...a lady is the most precious thing a guy can ask in his life time....she is the one who diverts him towards becoming a gentleman rather than turning into a beast....take care of her and make her view her as the centre piece of your life...if you achieve that, you would achieve a trailer of heaven upon this planet....
Even if you haven't met your lady yet, share this post with the ones who have that is if you like it and all :)