My 130th Post: Bath Of Sand

Yay dunya fani hai

Daulat to ani jani hai

Is dunya say dil mat lagao

Ik din mout galay lagani hai

In the above poetry, I speak of the limited time we have in this life which we think is going to last forever....this world is going to end one day and nothing is going to be left behind....all the treasures we hunt and all the wealth which we have stored under our pillows is going vanish one day as if nothing ever existed before...there is no use of loving this life because we are going to die one day and that day, we would have command over nothing at all....our bodies are going lie in the ground, baring the burden of sand covering us from head to toe....only a single piece of cloth would shield us from that sand but that still would be of no use because after death, there would be nothing to do just to wait for the time when we get answer for our deeds...
If you see around yourself, all you will find is man running after worldly possessions whether money or love just something which is never going to exist forever...such fools we are...when there is some power which we know and believe is going to remain forever...He was there before us and would remain after us....but still we run away from Him and try to grab what He made for our happiness....yes, we should try to earn what surrounds us but that does not mean that we run after them like a person on a quest of water in a desert....why don't we truly love the One who is always going to be there...why not to earn His respect and His love rather than trying to rise in the eyes of the creation....pleasing the creation might be a nice way to please the Creator but if the Creator Himself is calling upon us and is there if we reach for Him then why to waste time....I am a sinner myself....I know I am going to die one day and I know that I am not going to take anything with me when I die and I am well aware of the fact that when I die, people will mourn after me but they will move on with the passing days...yes, my parents will always miss me, my siblings will always think of me and my friends would always will to be in my company but they will move on....life won't end with me....I am just a piece of grain which contributes a little to the entire beach....I am nothing and would change nothing with my death....time will pass as it always does....this is just not a writer's made up imagination or just words of thought but I have experienced this....I have lost someone recently and she is not here in our lives but still, we are living....we do cry from time to time but we have picked up upon our routine....
Before the time arrives when am bathed in the sand and have nothing to care about, I want to do some rights...I don't want to die as a sinner and I really will to please my Lord so that I may end in a peaceful place, not in the tormenting hell...we all should do good because money may buy even love these days but it won't buy a place in heaven....getting rich is good but a person should always remember that graves of rich and poor are the same only the difference would be in their greed and their deeds....think of this world as a station which we are going to leave when the train arrives and till then, we should be nice with the strangers waiting along side us....we shouldn't live as selfish souls, instead our motive should be to help and heal the wounds which we think are in our power to cover...I hope we all do good and each time we think about something bad, we should remember our death staring at us from a corner we are unaware of...

Mout to ani hai
Yay dunya fani hai
Meri zindagi ki har baat
Ek mamuli si kahani hai

My 126th Post: You Still Exist

Things have changed, routine is back on its track, life is again calling me back only what isn't there is your presence....I don't see you around me any more...you don't fight with me over tiny things....you don't make me jealous by sharing your things with others rather than me...you don't every time greet me with your smile because you aren't here...you are gone and you won't ever do any of these again....you don't exist in my life any more but that would be a lie and you know I don't lie....
It is a general concept that once a person leaves you physically, that person is gone forever....well this is logically correct but heart fights with logic....it believes in stuff which a sane mind wouldn't agree to...so what if the person isn't standing in front of you, that person is still around you...no matter how badly you want that someone to go, their little things remind you of them....even at times when you are missing them badly, you don't rely upon a reason to remember them and to see their face....no matter what you do, they are always there specially when they left without saying a proper good bye....
There are people whom you wish to delete from your heart and mind but you are just not able to and there are those whom you never want to lose and you keep collecting reasons to keep them in your heart and keep them alive in your life....though their absence hurts but still their ghostly presence soothes you down and glows your heart....I always have believed that life isn't really tough, we are the ones making it tougher by each passing day but, it is tough when you lose someone who was a part of your daily life....there are reasons for people to die and leave us behind and we aren't strong enough to clearly understand those and have to accept the fact that they left us....honestly, it really is tough....I never thought it would be that tough because I thought I have a tough heart but the fact is, even the toughest hearts melt when a loved one moves on.....
Little things are keeping her alive....like yesterday, I was given a pack of jellies because the shopkeeper didn't have change...though I love jellies but she loved them more....or right now, I went out to check the house and I opened the room where she slept....there were some blankets huddled up on her bed and for a moment I was like she is here and it all was a bad dream but no, sadly this is real and she is gone....she wasn't the one trying to sleep, it just was her bed with stuff upon it....so these are random things which I guess are irritating at times but honestly even without them, I still see my sis from place to place.....
No matter what, you still exist...not only for today or tomorrow, for each coming day of my life...Insha-Allah one day when I would have your nephews and your nieces, I would tell them about you and would take care of the fact that you become a part of their little world as well.....I never said this when you were here but you would always be missed by us and by me because no one is there to fight like you any more....

My 125th Post: And Then There Were Four

There is a rule of this world, we come alone and we die alone...doesn't matter how many friends we make or relations we succeed, we leave them behind without giving them any right to our time of death...they hang around to see one's body getting laid deep down the ground and shed tears but that doesn't affects the one descended to a place from where there is no return....losing someone is not that easy as one thinks it might be....no matter how much you fight or hate someone, after that someone dies, the world crashes...maybe for a while but still the life gets sucked out of your body....no matter how strong one might be, it is not always easy to hold back....
 When we grow up, we find people in our life in different relations...some act as our parents, some as our siblings and others as friends or foes.....we just get attached to them with time....their little things matter to us and become a part of our daily routines....they become just like a computer program which is incomplete without certain steps....without these people, life seems to hit a pause and nothing seems right.....everything messes up and the mind gets trapped in a maze with walls surrounding each exit.....
I have been trying to write this post from the first day but didn't have the strength to type....honestly speaking, I still don't think am strong enough to pour my heart out in front of you all....usually my posts are my thoughts about things happening around us but this post is purely filled up with my feelings....I just want to write and I think it is fair for my sister that I publish this article online....though she didn't read my work, she always appreciated my efforts and boosted me to write and always had a hope served in a tray for me so that I don't feel as if losing once ends each and every efforts....
On the morning of 2nd April 2014, we the family of five lost one member and now are left with the number four....I lost my sister on that morning....she crashed in the hospital....to be honest with you all, am a different kind of a guy....I really don't understand the type of love I have for people and I really don't know whether I loved her or not and I can't evaluate that....I know that I wanted always to be there for her, I know I wanted to secure her future the best way I could and I know that though we fought always, I never could watch her getting her dose of injections....I don't know whether that is love or not but I do know that she was a part of my life and she would always be there in my heart....I know that her death has shaken me up and turned my insides upside down....I know I miss her fights and her stuff....if that is love then maybe I did love her...maybe that is why I can't stand near her grave without a tear in my eye and maybe that is why I can't talk about her with people and maybe that is why I just can't keep my eyes dry while writing this down....I am strong masha-Allah but still am a human....
There is a lot to share but I don't think I would be able to do that right now so maybe in time I might write something else but I don't think I would post it here....but before ending I would just share, she fought with me on the day of her death and that proved that she recognized me where as she wasn't recognizing anyone else....
Do pray for her soul to be accepted in Jannat and may Allah save her from the torments of Hell....do keep her in your prayers.....

My 109th Post: Back To School

It has been months since my last visit to my old school....I guess it was in the start of this January when I went back to The City School-Jinnah Campus but well that was just a brief visit...went there to pick up my little brother and came back without meeting anyone from the campus.....
I went directly from my university to Jinnah....seriously the way they show in films when a hero drives back to his love with all those flash backs of each and every moment, the same happened with me....though am not a hero in this case but was headed towards one of my loves....as I neared the road towards the campus, things started coming back to me....everything made me recall things from the past....like the example of the main road....it was our last year and me and some of my friends were walking back home as always....just for fun, we walked home....that day, we were lazy so my friend and I decided to block the road by lying down in the middle of the track....I know you guys would feel that it wasn't a secure idea to implement but other friends were watching out for speeding cars.....we nearly stopped 5 or 7 cars and then one of our Heads were on their way so had to stand up and walk again.....
Then I looked upon the campus, I remembered how we used to play outside and run all the time.....we fought, made new friends, fell in love or things like that....I mean it was a brilliant time of our lives.....I really miss those days and while I walked towards those doors, my nerves were shaking....it was just a feeling I really can't explain....one needs to experience that in order to understand what was going around my mind.....it was like I guess when a person goes to school for the first time after vacations....I don't know but this feeling was a delightful one.....the beautiful thing was when I was greeted warmly by each and everyone of the staff...not only the ones who knew me, but also the new ones...when I introduced myself to them, they made me feel that I am still a part of that environment....I didn't even a bit feel like a stranger in a new place....even the security guard at the main entrance was a new member...he didn't recognise me but when I introduced myself and told him that I am a pass out and was the Head Prefect there, he opened the gate with pride and welcomed me with respect.....
My visit there was not just because I was missing that place but it was mainly to meet our Principal, Mam Aliya Khalid...she was attacked recently and was burnt with acid....Masha-Allah she is recovering from that incident but still needs to go through some more operations to get well....me and my friends did go to meet her when she was admitted in the hospital but our bad luck struck and she was discharged few days before our journey.....I still had her card with me from that day and with a bouquet, I went in her office.....she really was happy to see me again after a long time....I felt that she was still proud of me and that feeling was lovely.....we sat down and chatted for a while....then I left her office and went around the building searching for my old teachers....I met few of them and their joy was awesome.....it felt as if I was back home and was greeted with same love and respect as they did back then.....when I told them what I was currently doing, they really felt proud of me and still expect me to reach higher stages, Insha-Allah....it was just lovely and I really want to go back to City School and start my studies from the beginning.....
Well, I would like to end this post with a message from Mam Aliya Khalid to all her students who have passed out recently or even before my batch....she told me to give her regards and love to all her students and wish them best of luck...also to tell them to pray for her so she may get her strength back and undergo those operations successfully.....so best of luck guys and really do pray for her, she is one of the best principals and she deserves way better than this.....lets just hope that her enemies fall on the right path or suffer the wrath of Allah....
Please do share this post so that all of the Ex-Citizens of J-camp can read this.....thank you....

My 100th Post: Who am I?

Had planned from quite long that my 100th post would be about me so instead of writing, I thought to post a poem which I entered in a competition held by x-life games in 2009...I stood Masha-Allah amongst top 21 contestants from around 500 chosen entries from poets around the world…it was an online competition having its platform in U.S….it was judged by some of the dignified professors of U.S and UK…

Am going to add few more verses in the end to go with this post perfectly….hope you like it…do comment and share…..

Who Am I?

A question is asked

    When life is unmasked

                                                                          Who am I

With a desperate cry

                                                               I wondered around

                                                       Till there wasn’t any ground

  Discriminations took place

And life became a race

My identity matters

Even if my character shatters

Where ever I go

Am judged with my religious flow

I have the right to choose

What ever I want

I have the right to petite

To have this grant

Am responsible for my actions

And this is what I have to say

My family had no connections

Nor should they be my mistake’s prey

I know I have

Done nothing wrong

I will earn respect

In time not so long

I proudly am amongst them

Who rely upon their own fame

Am a writer of the kind

Whose words will mark his name

My 95th Post: The Hungry Men

When a child enters this world, the first thing it needs is to satisfy its hunger....once satisfied completely, it asks for more in a period of time and with the growing days, its hunger increases and increases....a time comes when that child turns into this common society man who gets hungry to an extent that he starts working hard to fill his growling stomach....hunger isn't only satisfied by food though that was the ideology as a child...with maturing brain, hunger takes different shapes and is also satisfied by the worldly desires....desires like wealth, power and reputation....
Man works hard, day and night, to earn what he desires....he keeps striking his luck in a hope that one day not only his stomach would be filled, but all his desires would be laid down in front of him in a golden platter....when he fails, he gathers up different excuses just to keep his brain intact so that he may start all
over again....
The worst aspect of being hungry is that hunger never dies...though it may seem to seize but it never dies.....after a while, a person feels hungry again and starts going around like a crazy beast...ones who are capable of soothing their hunger know there way out of this mess and the rest, cross every limit just to fulfil that worldly desire....they seem to find no other possible way to earn food for there family or enough money to live their life peacefully....when no other door opens up, they start robbing or killing people for money because they are just impatient and do not trust the One who made them....
I know that it would be tough and for a guy like me, Masha-Allah, I can not understand their feelings and their urgency but that doesn't give them any right to go on and mess with the ones who worked really hard for what they deserved....snatching someone's possessions just to satisfy one's family is the reason of killing the family of the victim.....who knows what type of wealth a person has...one who drives a car doesn't really means that he/she is wealthy...
I know that the government is to be blamed for such a rise in crime rates but that shouldn't be used as an excuse....our government has flaws, everyone knows that but that really doesn't means that one should go out and be a thief, a murderer or start up businesses like prostitution....that ain't the answer to the problems....there are ways to earn and not saying it just as a thought....these people should see the poor farming families who work day and night just to earn enough to eat for a single time....there are many jobs available but people want shortcuts to wealth and while taking one, they forget the initial desire of hunger in this society, a pious and respected life....
I really don't know how to stop these people who are building their castle upon other's gold but I do know that they are wrong and I would always try to raise my voice against them....may all of us be blessed and develop respect for each and everyone's right...

My 72nd Post: The Disgust in Love

The post title might be suggesting that I am the type of a guy who would run away from love and the love stories...in other words, I might be completely an unromantic soul but that is not what I meant to implant in the readers' mind...I am a guy who accepts love and supports it as well but here I am stating the love developed by the 21st century generation....Yes, I am a part of that generation and no, I am not some 25 or 30 year old guy who is stepping into maturity now....I just ended my teens a year ago and this new type of love disgusted me then and disgusts me now...
There is this guy who likes this girl....he goes to her and tells her about his feelings...the girl feels the same and they are together....isn't that supposed to be it? I mean, they like each other, are in a relationship and if things go well, they might marry each other....through out that period of time, they greet each other as special friends but still maintain their limits....a simple and decent love story...what else is required here? I don't think there is a need of any type of spices here, it is perfect as it is but no, there are many who would shout out to the world, proving my insanity....
For me, getting in a relationship is just getting an approval and then with time trying to know that someone better so that the future might be perfect or well seen....on the other hand, for many after proposal comes the time of dating and stuff like that....these days, the life after marriage is same as the life during some relation, only the difference is that after marriage, you can become a father in front of the world....I am not saying that everybody has turned out like this but still there are many to be seen....
Getting physical with someone who is only a girlfriend, someone who is legally not a part of your life, is a shameless act....what if you two don't end up together and a day comes when your spouse finds out about your plays and all or what if you are a guy and you find out after marrying a girl that she was once one of your buddy's girlfriend and they were really into each other? Try thinking over this by standing at the end where it might hurt bad, the point where you get to suffer due to someone's guilt....what would happen to your male ego then? It would be thrashed and crushed....
Some of you might just agree to the part that being physical is not a good idea, that gift should be wrapped till the wedding but what about those private chats and dialogues....you love someone, you tell them...what is up with sending kisses and hugs to someone you have no connection with....I don't want to type inappropriate stuff here but some chats are disgusting and are just off limits....alright fine, sending a hug or a peck is kind of a way of showing continued interest and affection but that should be it...no need of digging into details and describing the scene by taking it away from romance to a porno...is that seriously some kind of love I am unaware of? I really don't think so...
Love should be enough pure that you would easily present it in front of your parents....it should not be the type where your father would have to bend his neck for his entire life....have you ever imagined what would happen if your chats are seen by your family? do you really think your parents would be proud of you and specially for girls, do you really think after viewing all that your brother would want to stand there for you? No, no one would....I said specially girls because no matter which society you are from, you are respected once and when there is a mark upon your forehead, it is never erased through out your life....
 Take care people and its my advise to all to love but in a manner that you would be able to maintain your old relations and wouldn't let anyone down specially your family....do comment your views and share it on....

My 37th Post: A New Start

Things do change with time and there comes a time when we hit a road block.....then we have to change the direction of our mind just instead of sitting there and staring at the blank wall....no matter what we do, that wall won't budge if it is the dead end.....what ever trick we apply, we will still sit there waiting one day or another.....it is better to stand up and try a new route...what if that gets us more successful than the one we were already headed on.....what if that was the path which was the destiny which we were ignoring ever since, so instead of losing hope, it is better to start of again.....

Nothing goes as we expect it to....there is always a hinge loose which creates the squeak....and that little sound may turn into a thunder...at times that can be fixed with a little adjustment but there is always a risk of wasting energy upon that.....when it can't be fixed, it needs to be changed rather than sitting there and watching it become worst and then just wondering where you went wrong....it is good to realize the wrong you did but that doesn't means you give up and sit there just to curse that and make yourself guilty....
Realizing just means to make better efforts in the future and overcome the mistakes you already made instead of repeating them cause repeating them would again bring you back to where you already had given up.....there are road blocks in everyone's life, but only special people overcome them....you can be one of the special ones, for that you only have to reevaluate what you did but most importantly straighten your mind in order to fight the sorrow.....losing and getting defeated is a part of this tale but accepting defeat is not.....you can stand up and try once more...so what you couldn't do it today, you would definitely do it if you give it a try tomorrow....that is the reason we are offered a new morning after a tiring day....what ever we couldn't do today, we get to try it again tomorrow.....
Motivate yourself so that you may never be able to give up and keep thinking that its not the defeated part that matters, its accepting defeat which defines the kind of a person you are....and trust me, no one really likes a person who accepts defeat...everyone wants a warrior and they deserve one, so if you give up, no one would want you around and that would make your relatives feel upset cause they wouldn't have excepted to see a defeated person in you.....
Make your family proud at least by not giving up the right thing....keep on trying and one day would surely come when you would succeed.....that day no matter what, you would hold your head high and walk down the ramp as an undefeated champ....
Keep motivating people no matter who it is and live heads high being proud that you didn't give up.....
Tc, comment and share...

My 3rd Post: Death Scene

life ends

with a sorrow in hands

the one we loved

can never be hugged

that is a very tragic instance in our lives....we don't want to miss someone dear to us no matter how much we tell them that we hate them...we still want their presence.....the thought that they are breathing soothes our mind and lets us live....
at times, I start thinking that it would really be easy for me if I left before the ones I love cause then I won't have any sorrow of losing someone but then I think how would it be for the people who truly love me...I know life goes on but still how intense would their pain be....is being selfish here a good thing really? I don't know, I simply confuse myself and roam my head outta that topic....
when we go to someone's funeral, we end up seeing different types of people...some are sitting in a corner who seem aloof from their surrounding, some gagging in a group of people and view the spot as a perfect hangout, some are terribly sorry for the loss of that person and pay condolence to the family and there are even those who didn't care for that dead soul their entire life but they truly miss them when he/she remains no more....
looking into the details of the scenario, we find people crying cause they are truly hurt and we also find those who try to shed tears just cause others may see and cheer their name....in my society, I also find people who join the family at those times just to get free lunch....these type of people enter when food is served and leave when they are hungry no more....
I really find this disturbing cause now a days rarely someone cares about someone's deaths...the hearts are rusted to an extent that they have forgotten the thought that one day they will be the ones' who would chair that event and also a day when the whole setup would be for them...what if people act same at those times? just think, if you are chairing the death ceremony of someone you love the most and find people laughing, won't that hurt more than the death of that someone?
so respect the dead and support the ones' who lost someone rather than being a pain to their eyes and their hearts.....
may all the people who died till today and afterwards be blessed by my Lord and be cherished with Heaven...Ameen
Tc....