My 110th Post: Suicide

A person lives once and unfortunately dies once....once you are dead, you can't return to this world and relive what you thought was useless.....every year around 800000 to a million people die due to committing suicide....these are the ones who have no respect for their lives and I personally believe that they are the weakest form of mankind.....they don't have the will to stand up against the world and try to change things....well, it is not entirely their fault because they never had the trust in God....they are amongst those who never understood His dealings and His justice.....
A rope tied around the neck or a jump from a cliff, are explained as difficult tasks....it is said that to commit suicide, one needs to have guts....it ain't an easy task to achieve....well I accept this statement because taking someone else's life is not that hard compared to killing oneself.....but still, there is strength in the will and the firmness upon the point of giving up....so in the end, no matter how rough and tough a suicider might seem to the entire world, he/she still is a looser....someone who couldn't achieve something and in return took his/her life just to prove that what he/she was after meant a lot to him/her.....maybe the point is clearly defined by the act of a suicide but in the end, that someone stays a looser because there is a loss of life and also would lose the reason that someone died for.....
I agree that at times things become difficult for a person to handle....life becomes tough and the tragedies bomb the entire mind but I believe that ain't a reason of giving up.....I am not talking about foolish reasons like dying for a guy or a girl because that in my understanding is just out of question...that someone is just a selfish soul who never deserved the love from his/her family.....just for a love of few days, months or perhaps years, people attempt suicide and the ones who are successful, leave behind the ones who loved and cherished them their entire life.....I believe that their families, no matter how ignoring, deserved better.....here am talking about people who go through tragedies like losing their families in a battle which was never their's or being robbed out of dignity or physical respect....these people are really hurt....the mind starts playing games and with time they start accepting the fact that there isn't any space for them in this society....death seems more attractive to them and they happily depart from this cruel world.....
If only those people had their believe in God, they might have stayed back and might have remained within our society...I know that it is easy for a person to write about others and tough to be the one who experiences things like that but still I wish there was a way out.....this society plays an equal part in those suicides....if our society wasn't this cruel, their hopes might have lived and they might have fought for their rights....but our society likes to rub in and scratch the fresh wounds until the victim falls upon his/her knees....instead of supporting someone, our society starts ignoring and keeps nagging until it is successful at washing the prints of that someone from the corner of this world.....
Let me ask you that what was the mistake of an innocent girl who was rapped on her way to school or the mistake of the guy who was honest with his job but due to political games, was imprisoned upon the charge of corruption...what did they do to the society or anyone to get this as a reward? they were clean but they suffered....they became weak and found death as their loyal companion because life was mocking them where ever they went....they committed suicide and left this world just to run away from this hell....they were wrong but the society wasn't right as well....they required justice but were treated as bugs in this society....
I wish to help those depressed souls and want to make them happy....before ruling out someone, try to see what went behind the scenes and help reducing the number of suicides...life is a beautiful gift bestowed upon us and we should cherish it rather than just running to quite it.....

My 105th Post: My Lover's Killer

I killed her, I just killed her....No, I didn't but yes, I killed her! I didn't want her to die but, I killed her...she was all I had and I don't know her but I love her...I am all she has and I know she would have loved me too but no, that can't be possible...am just a monster and I just killed her....I wish, I just wish that her thoughts would have changed after all we went through but no, I killed her....that night could have been different...I could have asked her out like any other guy does when he likes a girl but we slipped....I slipped...
It was raining heavily and as always, me and the gang were out at Joe's for the night.....beers were coming and going and the night wasn't dying....we were just about to leave as a blond entered the bar....she was in her early 20's.....sleek body with curly hair tied back in a puff, all soaked up.....she was a beautiful girl....at first I thought it was the alcohol talking but when she came near the bar to ask for the phone, I could see her face clearly in the yellow light of the bar...she was beautiful and somehow, I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her that am going to be hers for ever....but well, she went to the back of the bar to make a call and I headed out through the front door....
I thought it ended there but how wrong I could have been, I never had imagined that....we were three friends but others were missing when I left the bar....suddenly one came running towards me and led me to the back of the bar....I was confused, couldn't understand what was happening.....I was running wildly after him and wasn't able to balance myself because that night, I was high enough to call myself the President of U.S....there were thoughts going around my head but none of them made any sense....
At the end of the trail, I saw her lying on the road....something had happened to her and she wasn't moving much....as I neared to examine her, she was crying....I got confused, couldn't concentrate on anything....then I saw my friend standing besides her, fixing his belt and tucking in his shirt....I was bewildered by his image....washed the rain off my face and looked at the girl once more....she was lying on the floor, her shirt loose and my friend pointing her to me....he was saying something that didn't I want her, so there she was for me to have....at first, I was all baffled and didn't understand what was happening....my other friend stood from the girl's side and pushed me down upon her.....they left me there alone with her and I don't know what happened, I just lost my self control and that girl saw a beast in me.....
After few hours, I was travelling with my friends somewhere...I didn't know what had happened next...they told me that they dumped that girl off at near by hospital and now it was time to move on.....I just went wild and beat the crap out of them....left their company and went back to the hospital....I searched for her and when I found her, she was unconscious....upon that, I was told that there wasn't any hope of her getting normal again....I enrolled my relation as her husband and because there was no one to claim her nor she had any id with her, I was allowed to take her back with me....
Last few months, I have been there for her day and night....I wasn't a bad guy, just got driven by the devil and his mind controlling water....cared for her as my angel.....took her to bed, changed her clothes, did what a real husband might do for his wife....she never spoke throughout that period, always laid in her bed looking at the ceiling....she was just a body in my house but still, she was mine and I cared for her more than anything I ever cared about....like a baby, I had to forcefully feed her...would tell her stories and stayed most of my time in her room, holding her hand.....I always cried at the night when ever that incident crossed my mind but those tears meant nothing to her...she didn't even feel my presence I think....she had lost her senses....
Yesterday, it was raining as it had been that night....I fell asleep while reading her a story....was dreaming about our life and kids and suddenly heard her screaming....first I thought I was dreaming but no, she really was back....she was screaming which meant she was back...my love, my Jane, she was back.....I woke up and held her in my arms....she cuddled me and then commanded to turn on the lights...it was the happiest day of my life till I turned on the lights....she, she just starred at me....there was nothing else....she went pale and looked at me....I smiled and as I went near, she dropped back in the bed....
I hurried downstairs and called the next door doctor....she came running in her pyjamas to my house and checked her....Jane was gone....the doc said that she is in a deep sleep and won't ever wake up....life drained out of my eyes and I fell upon my knees, sobbing till my eyes went dry....
Jane still lies in her bed and I know she won't ever get up, but I won't leave her...no, I won't ever leave her....one day my love is going to help her get back on her feet and one day, I would ask her to marry me and become the mother of my children.....one day she will wake up, one day she will forgive me and love me back..... just one day.....

My 95th Post: The Hungry Men

When a child enters this world, the first thing it needs is to satisfy its hunger....once satisfied completely, it asks for more in a period of time and with the growing days, its hunger increases and increases....a time comes when that child turns into this common society man who gets hungry to an extent that he starts working hard to fill his growling stomach....hunger isn't only satisfied by food though that was the ideology as a child...with maturing brain, hunger takes different shapes and is also satisfied by the worldly desires....desires like wealth, power and reputation....
Man works hard, day and night, to earn what he desires....he keeps striking his luck in a hope that one day not only his stomach would be filled, but all his desires would be laid down in front of him in a golden platter....when he fails, he gathers up different excuses just to keep his brain intact so that he may start all
over again....
The worst aspect of being hungry is that hunger never dies...though it may seem to seize but it never dies.....after a while, a person feels hungry again and starts going around like a crazy beast...ones who are capable of soothing their hunger know there way out of this mess and the rest, cross every limit just to fulfil that worldly desire....they seem to find no other possible way to earn food for there family or enough money to live their life peacefully....when no other door opens up, they start robbing or killing people for money because they are just impatient and do not trust the One who made them....
I know that it would be tough and for a guy like me, Masha-Allah, I can not understand their feelings and their urgency but that doesn't give them any right to go on and mess with the ones who worked really hard for what they deserved....snatching someone's possessions just to satisfy one's family is the reason of killing the family of the victim.....who knows what type of wealth a person has...one who drives a car doesn't really means that he/she is wealthy...
I know that the government is to be blamed for such a rise in crime rates but that shouldn't be used as an excuse....our government has flaws, everyone knows that but that really doesn't means that one should go out and be a thief, a murderer or start up businesses like prostitution....that ain't the answer to the problems....there are ways to earn and not saying it just as a thought....these people should see the poor farming families who work day and night just to earn enough to eat for a single time....there are many jobs available but people want shortcuts to wealth and while taking one, they forget the initial desire of hunger in this society, a pious and respected life....
I really don't know how to stop these people who are building their castle upon other's gold but I do know that they are wrong and I would always try to raise my voice against them....may all of us be blessed and develop respect for each and everyone's right...