My 132nd Post: Why Have I Stopped?

I will just start this blog abruptly without any proper introductory paragraph. The last time I had published over this platform was back in 2015 and today, it is 2021. Nearly six years have passed since my last post and that is a long time. I haven’t stopped writing, well no not really. I have been around sharing quotes, publishing academic papers, freelancing, and stuff like that but I haven’t really written something from my heart for my heart.

There are a couple of reasons for my absence, though they might just be excuses but still, I would like to believe that they are valid excuses. One of them which is really the worst is that I have become demotivated to write. I used to believe that I have a way with words and my hands are the medium of art but I came to understand that I might be flying over polluted clouds. My words, well they haven’t generated many readers and followers and I guess they aren’t really worthy of much praise so I just went silent. The other reason is life. Life is a beautiful trauma for us to live and wait for the light to reach our eyes.

I do have a lot to write and talk about but at the same time, I have nothing to say worthy enough for someone to read. This post is just an explanation post for a friend whom I really respect and I owe this much at least.

All I wish to say is that I do will to write but then again, I wonder, is it worth it to type down my words in front of the world who sees no charm in them? Should I really paint my thoughts over such canvases or should I just go back to my silence? I really don’t have a clue about that. I might start writing once again if this post gets even 10 views or few comments because they will prove to me that I am heard and people do like hearing from me or who am I kidding with this?

So, basically, I have nothing more to say upon why I have stopped. Or maybe I do, but then again it is better to be left chained in my brain rather than inked down on this blog. But I can say, I still love to write and am passionate about this art. Even while writing this post, which basically is just a random vent, I am enjoying the music my fingers are making when they press the keys on the keyboard. Writing is and I believe will always be a part of who I am and that will never die but the fact remains that would I let it out publicly or not? I don’t know but who knows, we never know what life has stored for us in the upcoming moments. We just have to live it the best way we can.

“So, have fun, stay safe and continue social distancing to be safe from COVID-19 because it is not a fun to get ill,” words to live by from two-time COVID survivor :)

 

 

My 131st Post: Am I Forgotten?

Am I forgotten? Ever wondered if people remember you even when you don’t talk anymore. I mean the person whom you used to be a best bud of and now you guys don’t talk, do you think they would have you in their mind still. Or someone whom you thought was important for you but then things didn’t work out and the chapter got shut away for the spiders to nest in. Ever wondered the way you think about them, the way you recall their precious memories, their names and their existence, would they be doing the same time after time.

I have met a lot of people in my age and with most of them, I don’t have any contact at all. Some were just random folks but then there also were those whom I wanted to be a part of my each and every memory. Destiny didn’t have their pictures in my timeline but still I have them in my head. Like the friends I had made in my junior years. Some of them are still in contact but then again majority are like the leaves of fall which flew away from me.

I still remember the names of each and every girl I had a crush upon or whom I fell in love with. Some of them know the fact that I was drooling upon them but specially the girl whose name the cupid struck me with knows it well because she is the only one till the date whom I had enough courage to propose. Well I do wonder if she even remembers me and recalls my memories or thoughts at times. She did had made it clear that I am not going to be a part of her memories by blocking me from every way possible but still, I just wonder if she remembers me.

Then there were random others whom I thought would remain my friends but it didn’t happen. Like a great friend of mine from the school days whom I used to hang out with. She was a nice person and best of all, she helped me out in my love thingy but then something went wrong and it ended. Or like my recent thought about a friend whom I had a misunderstanding with and now she remains at a distance though I did clear it all and our chat ended with my words that I would wait for her reply when she would be willing to talk no matter how high the pile of the years get. Now I wonder it has been months since we talked, does she even remember me. There are a lot of people like her whom I drifted apart from and it has been long since we talked but I don’t think they remember me because alright a girl might have some issues but what about a guy? What about my buddies from the school days whom I haven’t heard from in years. I really don’t even know if they are alive. Well that is life.

I do wonder and I believe everyone does because one can not just kill a memory out of the system. We are not machines whose RAM can be erased or something, we are humans with hearts. If we spend time with even a cat at our door, we remember it. It is mostly our ego and the awkwardness of time which binds us at distance. Well the destiny chose this for us. Some people stay and others just drift away. I would like some of them back but I don’t think anyone would want the entire fleet at their steps again because they were gone and when they left, it might have been a good thing to happen in life. Still I believe that no soul on Earth is forgotten just ignored due to our human nature. They left due to some reason but still they remain a part of our memories.