My 103rd Post: Being Sorry

Life is based upon decisions and the steps we take....we move through time, wrestling the barriers in our way, towards the goals set in the back image of our mind....at times, we just move on slaying each and everyone...though not literally but stamping one's heart may be same as slaying that person....when at last we reach the end of our trail, a time comes when we look back at what we did in order to reach our destination....then we realise how many we might have hurt and how many we might have left behind just to conquer our selfish desires....if our conscience remains till the end, it nudges our heart just to remind us of what we did....it makes us feel guilty and in the end, we start feeling sorry for what we did or how we behaved....
Being sorry is a strong deed....it shows that at least one realises his/her mistakes....in that state it feels as if a burden is placed upon the heart, heavy enough to sink a person in thin air.....there is an urge which seems to strangle to death just to get things back as they were...just to get a second chance to alter the mistake and remove the hurt from the victim's heart....though the victim might have moved on from your abuse, it still feels as if you can see that someone, crying in a corner just waiting for the day to end or throwing things in fury just to get back on you....but at that moment, you just moved on and couldn't wait long enough to know what happened next or weren't ever concerned enough to care to know how that someone feels.....
Life has a philosophy that broken things can be mended and broken hearts, can once again reunite under the same glowing moon....that is just a philosophy and we can call this an ideal situation, which can not be obtained....it is a fact stated in physics that worldly things can't reach to ideal state....same way, broken hearts and hurt souls can not be repaired just by a sorry....it is just like breaking a class and gluing it back together....though the shattered pieces might hug each other, but still they remain weak from the impact and won't hold the water without spilling it here and there.....saying sorry won't make things better for the one who was thrashed, though he/she might accept you once more, but still would remain few steps back just to ensure the future....
I fully understand my stated points but there is something which nags me....there is a saying that do not let your hope die young...well I guess I just said that though what I mean is that, maybe, just maybe that someone agrees and after the show of stubbornness and ignore, that someone reverts and accepts your apology....maybe that someone becomes that same old person realising the fact that one is trying too hard just to apologise and is trying to get back on track....so there is hope though....it might be tough but there are chances....now the tough part is that how to make that someone realise the fact that you really mean it....umm I really don't know....
The way I would do is to write a post upon a topic, lets suppose 'Being Sorry', and then try to share it towards that someone....this might irritate that person and make him/her take the agreement of your kill, but still I tried.....it depends upon that someone whether they think am worth giving a chance or not but I guess anyone would spare a single chance if I keep on asking for her/him and wish well...
Well that is just an opinion but try not to hurt in the first place to be sorry later in the future....

My 19th Post: The Day I Die

A day would come
When sorrows will end
A day so mighty
That no soul can withstand
The day that I
Can't understand;

Was just wondering randomly that how would it be when the time stops...even the slightest movement seizes in that very instance and nothing would seem to have life in it to budge even as little as the tiniest particle, the atom....how would it be when I come to know that I am going to leave this world....
I have given a test, my result is going to come on etc date...I came in this world so my birthday is going to be celebrated on 12 December...but I don't know the date or time for my funeral....the day I die is not fed to my brain....or maybe it is in it somewhere but I ain't aware of it....I don't know whether in the end of this post I would be there to write another one or not...or maybe I live long enough to keep on writing till the 1000th post....who knows....
We all have to leave someday but what if we knew how and when we leave, would that be better?...we would be able to prepare our self for that moment....at least try to complete every single assignment which we have ignored till that time....get a farewell from all the ones we are close to....just imagine....someone who knows when he/she is going to die, they would throw a gathering and sit with everyone they know and clear the guilt, the grudges and forgive everyone and in the end just sit there in the company which they loved throughout their life time and leave the world....won't that be the happy ending illustrated in the fairy tales or that would be the craziest ending.....
I think we are better off like this cause if someone knows when he/she is going to die, they are just going to ruin their remaining time....if someone knows that the end is going to arrive in exactly 2 months, those 2 months are going to be living hell.....they would try to achieve as many goals as they can and the one's who have responsibilities would burst out with tears cause two months aren't enough to do everything, the things which weren't completed in years, can't end in months....but what if we know the day we die from the time of our birth..would that make any difference? I don't think so....
Life like this is just perfect....to know when we are going to die would ruin everything....every single day in tension and full of stress and people would become reluctant and frustrating...everything would become unbalanced and it would be a total ciaos.....
The day I die, I don't know what I would be up to and how would it be but at least till I am unaware of it, I am relaxed...yes, at times I just feel that I haven't achieved goals still but then I tell myself that insha-Allah there would be a new tomorrow...not knowing when it would end, I can still have hope and that is all I want....

Let my day
End in peace
No sorrow  to suppress
No tear to grease
Would like to
Leave this world with a mighty smile
Flow with the wind
Just like the fast flowing Nile...

Tc and do comment.....